My Addiction To You Could Save My Life
by BADBOYSANDBLACKROSES
Summary: /alternate universe, dean ambrose x oc , probably will not be very much in ring action here\ Olivia has been doing the hair and makeup for the WWE for a while now. And since Dean Ambrose made his debut, she's developed this addiction to the newest bad boy.. The only problem with this is that she's not someone you'd notice. But when her personal life gets her noticed what will happn
1. Chapter 1

_**: IMPORTANT INFORMATION :**_

_**I do not own the WWE nor do I own any of the Superstars. I wish I owned Sheamus (and several others), sadly, I do not. I only own my original character Olivia and the situations I choose to insert her into. There probably won't be much in ring action in this, I'm sorry. And this is Dean Ambrose x OC. For the most part, he'll be IC (the asshole we all know and love) but there will also be slightly (not much, I'm not going to make him a fucking pansy or sap) more tender moments.**_

_**reviews are loved and appreciated. if this one goes well, i might post two more, each pairing an oc with a shield guy, it's this series of sorts I started working on a little while ago. But yeah, if you like this, leave some love, yeah?**_

_**: Prologue :**_

Every girl has that one male weakness. For Olivia that weakness was probably the worst one a girl could possibly have. Dean Ambrose. Probably the meanest and baddest guy on the whole WWE roster. The only real problem with this, was that Olivia was the makeup and hair girl, and as a result, she really didn't get noticed all that much.

Until, of course, her personal life spilled over into her work, in the form of a violent ex husband, whom she'd been trying to hide from, even having an assumed name.

When her personal life manages to get her the attention of her bad boy addiction, she's suddenly thrust into one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. Will they make it through the craziness or will this entire thing be one long and hot explosion? And what will happen when someone else sets their sights on the makeup girl as well?


	2. Chapter 2

_**: CHAPTER 01: JUST ANTHER DAY BEHIND THE SCENES :**_

Olivia had only just finished the last hair and makeup job she was required to do, and as usual, she was hanging around catering, picking at a crossiant, sitting alone, a very old and weathered copy of Desperation, her favorite Stephen King novel open on her lap as she read it intently. She didn't really mingle with the roster, she was always too damn afraid to lose her job to even dare talk to one of them.

Yet even without looking up, she somehow knew when he walked into the room. The vage smile filled her face but she kept her face hidden, buried in the book as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire world.

Dean Ambrose.

It was odd, how she'd pick a man who was rumored to be nearly as violent as her ex husband of about three years, to fall for or become obsessed with, develop fantasies about. Thankfully, those fantasies stayed well hidden, because she kept her private life just that way. Completely and totally private. As in not many on the roster knew her name. And none of them knew her story, or her real given name.

She was hiding from her ex husband, she had been for a while now, and she couldn't afford to let anyone find out about her past, anything like that. Because if it got out, and her ex husband somehow found her, she didn't want anyone else getting involved. Because this time, she fully intended to murder the fucker.

No, she wasn't crazy, just a little tired of abuse, of the threats he left on each new number she got, the overall feeling of panic or fear if she went somewhere and she saw someone staring at her for more than five minutes at a stretch.

So much so that she'd started to take MMA training again.

About halfway through the fourth chapter of the novel she was reading, she felt eyes on her, so she sat up, alert, looking around, biting her full lower lip as she realized that it must have been her imagination.

Meanwhile, across the room, Dean sat watching the brunette quietly. She'd been hair and makeup for longer than he'd been on the roster, and from what little he did know about her, was that her name was Olivia, and most people didn't really know her. Which of course only posed the perfect challenge for him.

He wasn't a guy who'd easily admit to any sort of romance, or even know or care to know about how to win someone over, but he could be damn charming and irresistable he'd been told many times. He just had to hope that'd be enough this time. Because he could not get the makeup girl off his mind, and it was driving him completely insane.

And he hated it. He wasn't a guy known for patience, nor was he known for holding back when he wanted something. And he had to have her, just to see what it'd be like. Just to prove to himself he was too fucked up mentally to care about another human being. He was quite confident that he'd fuck her and be done with her, simple as that.

He looked up just as she looked down again, and smirked to himself. So she'd felt him staring, had she? That was good. He wanted her to know he was staring at her. He didn't care what she thought about it, or if it freaked her out. He was only out to prove a point to himself.

He was too god damn fucked in the head to even entertain the notion of loving someone. Or wanting anything beyond the one night usual.

She got up and walked out, and he stood, falling into step stealthily behind her, watching her ass sway as she walked, smirking to himself. "Nice." he muttered as he noticed her stop abruptly, run her fingers through her long dark hair and then shake her head, as if she knew she were being watched.


	3. Chapter 3

_**: CHAPTER 02: JUST ANTHER DAY BEHIND THE SCENES, CONTINUED :**_

She'd only just lit her cigarette when she felt it again. This overwhelming sense that she was being followed. It prompted her to turn around, but again, she saw nothing except the door back into the building swinging as if someone had just made a hasty entrance or something. She sighed and mentally reminded herself that her ex husband was NOT going to find her, she'd made damn sure to get rid of any and all trails that could lead him to her.

But then that begged to reason, how'd he keep getting her new and unlisted cell phone numbers? And how'd he knew that her name was Olivia now, not Jade?

She swore to herself. He couldn't touch her right now, he was behind the walls of a maximum security prison. Or at least that was the last thing she'd heard, and that'd been over a year ago. The only thing he could do was call her, and she didn't have to answer. Yet she still felt the chill of fear every single time the phone rang, or she felt like someone was watching her.

Which lately, a lot of the time, she had. And she was beginning to really hate it, wonder why she kept feeling that way. It spooked her, and she didn't really care for being spooked. It made her feel weak.

And she was most definitely NOT weak.

She inhaled sharply and muttered, " Fuck this shit." as she lowered herself into the convertible and leaned her head back against the headrest for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut. She needed a fucking drink.

Starting the car, she'd put it in drive when she felt someone beating on the window, from the outside. She looked up and raised a brow at the sudden appearance of Dean Ambrose.

Rolling down her window, she raked a hand through long dark hair as she bit her lip, her eyes gleaming with curiousity.. What'd he want?

"Yeah?"

"Was gonna ask if ya had a lighter." Dean said as he chuckled then took the pale pink lighter she held out. "Relax, would ya? It's not like I was gonna cut out ya kidneys or some shit."

"Right.. Okay, then." Olivia said as she took the lighter back then asked, "So that fight earlier.. Brutal."

"It was. I'm gonna fuckin murder that ape Sheffield next time though." Dean said casually, as he leaned against the small car, peering in casually. "So, you're off to the hotel?"

"Yeah. It would appear so. Did you need something or..?" Olivia asked as she bit her lip, tried to refrain from fucking him with her eyes at the moment, which was much easier said than done.

"Nah. Just wanted to bum a light, talk to ya. Ya don't say much." Dean said as he smirked, catching her eyes roaming all over his body, ever so slowly. He got the feeling that she'd almost jumped a mile in the air when he'd appeared out of nowhere for a reason, but he didn't mention it. Not his business, and as soon as he got her out of his system, he'd be done with her, so it's not like it mattered.

He'd wash his hands of her.

And he'd finally be able to get some god damn sleep at night, not think of her. For now, though, he studied her intently, trying to learn his best way over the walls she had up. Her cell phone rang, the moment's panic she displayed as she glanced at the id was enough to make him beyond curious, but again, not his business.

And he didn't plan on sticking around long enough to make it his business, either.

But he couldn't help but be surprised by the pang of anger and jealousy that crept in, hearing a males voice when she listened to the voicemail, while swearing softly under her breath.

"You okay?" he asked, nonchalantly, as he eyed her, brow raised still shocked at the jealous rage he'd felt, just now. Things didn't normally go like this for him.

"I'm good. Just personal shit." Olivia answered back just as casually, guarded, wondering how much he'd heard. Because she'd just gotten the call she was dreading.

Her ex husband had escaped, he was probably headed her way now, even as she sat here. This sent the frantic chill down her body again, and she said stiffly, in a slightly shaky tone, "Look.. I-i gotta go. it was nice talking to you."

"You sure you're okay?" he asked again, wondering what the fuck he was bothering for, why it even fucking mattered.

"Yeah, I told you. I'm fine. I just have to hit the road.. I'm gonna like, visit family before we get set up in the next town." Olivia said, lying as best as she could. But really, what other choice did she have in it? She couldn't very well say, 'hell no, i'm not okay, my ex husband escaped from prison, now he's coming to kill me', because that'd sound insane.

But it was the truth. He hadn't accomplished it when she'd found out the truth about him, what kind of monster he was, so now he was going to try again. And probably again and again until he finally killed her. Just like all the other women he'd raped and beaten, nearly to death.

As she drove off, Dean raked his hand through his slick hair and muttered, "There's somethin wrong." as he turned on his heel, walked back into the building after thumping his cigarette off into the distance.

What pissed him off more than anything was whoever this motherfucker was, calling her, he was obviously a fucking obstacle. And Dean only knew how to do one thing when it came to obstacles that stood in the way of something he wanted.

Crush them.

"I'm gonna find out what's up." he muttered quietly, as he growled and then said "Even though I don't really give a god damn.. All this shit so I can fuck her and forget about her, get her out of my fuckin head.. She better be fuckin golden in bed."

Roman chuckled from behind him as he said "So we're back to talking to ourselves, I see."

"Fuck off, Reigns." Dean swore as he sat down, arms crossed, not presently happy in the slightest with the predicament he found himself in. Turning to Roman, he said "You're a fuckin friendly motherfucker.. what do you know about Olivia Petrova?"

"Not much, Ambrose, why?"

"Because I can't get her outta my god damn mind, and it's pissing me off."

"Ask Seth, he's the one who talked to her a few times. She loaned him Slaughterhouse Five."

"Chick fuckin reads Vonnegut?"

"Yeah." Roman said as he snickered to himself, watching Dean's face as he digested this fact.

"Well god damn." he muttered to himself as he walked out of the room, setting off to find Seth, to talk to him. If Rollins knew anything about Olivia, he better come off of it.

Dean was sick of not knowing what he was up against. His own mind was betraying him lately, and his charm didn't work on her tonight. Any other girl would have been all over him tonight.

Then again, she did look like she was beyond spooked about something...

He growled as he tried yet again to clear his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

_**: CHAPTER 03: SLEEPLESS NIGHTS :**_

Olivia tossed and then turned, rolling over in the double bed in the hotel room. She'd gotten here way ahead of the roster, she had two full days to try and get things in order, just in case her ex husband caught up to her. She'd been trying to sleep for the better part of about an hour now, but it seemed like every time she shut her eyes, she'd see him, hear him threatening her as he had back then, she'd feel herself start to shake.

She normally didn't scare easily before she'd learnt what she had about her former husband. Now, it took little to nothing to scare her, and it seemed like this time, he was going to toy with her, get her completely afraid, then he'd make his move. Tonight, he'd sent her a text that said simply, "getting closer" from a new unknown number.

And after that, her own mind had done the rest. The entire drive up here had been spent with her peering in the rearview every few minutes, making sure noone was following her. Then she checked in the hotel, and she hadn't left since. She didn't intend on leaving either, unless she had to go to the arena, do hair and makeup for the superstars and divas.

And all the while, she was preparing herself for the kill or be killed part of this. She'd been down this road before, and last time, she'd only barely escaped with her life. And she'd been spared his stalking, his torture because he'd been sent to prison.

She took a few deep breaths and sat up, taking a sip of bottled green tea as she looked at the clock. 2 am. Sleepless nights. It felt like she was essentially waiting to die and she hated this.

The ringing of her cell phone broke through the night, and without thinking, anger from earlier, from the threats, tired of being scared, when she answered, she snapped, "If you're going to kill me you fucki-"

Dean held the phone out, brow raised as he looked at Seth and Roman. He raked his hand through his hair and then said calmly, "I'm a bastard, but I never killed nobody."

"The dog does count, Ambrose." Seth called out grimly from the background as Dean made a strangling motion and pointed at him, then got back to the conversation, asking, " I was gonna ask ya if ya wanted to get a drink or somethin' from the hotel bar."

"Can't." Olivia answered, as she raised her brow at the phone. He already sounded at least 3 fourths of the way drunk and she wasn't in that town anymore anyway.

"Why the hell not?" Dean asked, his temper flaring momentarily, getting jealous, automatically thinking of the male voice on her voicemail earlier. Which in and of itself was completely stupid as they weren't fucking so he really had no say so, nor should he even give a damn. Once he fucked her out of his system, he'd be done with it.

He kept saying that, and eventually, he'd believe it and mean it.

"Because I left early, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that." Dean muttered, mentally kicking himself, no longer sure what to say. But now, his curiousity was sparked, because of how she'd answered the phone. "Something wrong?"

"Nope. I'm gonna settle it." Olivia said grimly as she wandered to the mini bar in her room, took a healthy sip of Jim Beam.

"But ya seemed scared shitless just now. Don't sound fine or settled to me." Dean shot back, raising a brow.

"Just trust me, Ambrose. This is personal and I am going to settle it." Olivia said firmly, as she reminded herself just why she could not cave, give in to the addiction he was to her.

If she did and he got hurt, even killed because of her, she'd never get over it. She just had this feeling about him. And for now, until she took care of the pesky ex problem, it was best if she refrained from acting on it. A few silent moments passed and Dean said casually, " How about we go for drinks when we get to ya?"

Olivia wanted to say no, and she honestly meant to say no, but when she opened her mouth, yes came out instead. She groaned to herself and made a mental note to come up with something to keep her from going. Because she was not putting him in danger. Even though she was more than fully aware that he could handle himself and then some, she just wasn't doing it.

They hung up and Dean lie there replaying the damn conversation in his head. He growled at himself in fury as he muttered, "The sooner I fuck her and forget her, the better off I'll be." before shutting his eyes, firmly resolving to get some much needed sleep. Tomorrow, they had to be up bright and early to travel to the next town.


	5. Chapter 5 - M RATED

_**: CHAPTER 04: SHOULDN'T BE LETTING YOU IN LIKE THIS :**_

She paced the dimly lit bar, wondering two things.. Firstly, why in the hell had she said yes, she knew the man was dangerous, he was a fucking addiction she couldn't get over and that might not be a good thing, given her track record with relationships, the kinds of men she attracted for some reason.

And she knew he'd never change who he was.

Secondly, she was wondering if he'd even show up? What if this was all a mind fuck to waste time? What if he knew she had a slight obsession with him, and he was toying with her? She waved down the bartender, slammed back two more shots just as the hand slid to her hip and he leaned in, whispered in a seductive voice, " Ya look nervous."

"I.. I shouldn't even be here." she blurted suddenly as she was turned to face him. Dean studied her a moment, brow raised as he chuckled and raked his hand over his hair, then said with a smirk, "Did I tell ya ya get to leave?"

"No, but... Dean, it's not quite that simple, see..." Olivia started but never got to really actually finish because his index finger trailed across her full lips slowly as he said "Shhhh.."

The sparks that flowed through her body almost had her so electrified that she couldn't breathe for a moment, and she was having trouble processing what she'd been stupid enough to agree to. Or maybe not so much..

Then she mentally kicked herself. Yeah, he was tough, but.. Her ex was an ex con. And he'd nearly killed a guy, quite a few times, for even really daring to look at her..

"Hey.."

Her eyes snapped back onto him and he leaned in a little, making sure the small of her back met the edge of the bar as he towered over her and said quietly, calmly, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just.."

Again, his index finger went to her lips and he shook his head. "No talkin. Just drink." he muttered as he let his eyes roam over her slowly, lingering on the areas he liked the most, namely her lips and eyes, and of course her curves. He ordered them both shots and stepped back so she could get on the stool. As he stood behind her, he realized that her perfume kind of reminded him of cotton candy, and he had a passing curiousity to bite her, just to see if her skin tasted the same.

This had to happen. He had to fuck her out of his head and his body tonight. He had to get rid of any thoughts he'd been entertaining about ever having anything close to a normal relationship with her, because he was the kind of guy he was, and he knew he'd only wind up hurting her.

His tongue jutted out, passing over his lips first, as he realized how dry they were, despite having a beer in hand, and then he leaned in, slowly trailed his tongue down her neck as he said quietly into her ear, "Do ya taste as good as ya smell.. I wonder."

Olivia bit her lower lip and tried to resist, but her blood was boiling and she was sick of fighting it.. But she knew she had to at least keep trying.

His silky seductive voice continued to whisper into her ear, " Not gonna lie. I want you. I usually get what I want, Olivia. So just save us both the headache and give in."

"Dean.. I can't. You have to stop this. Whatever this game is, you have to stop it because you're in over your head right now.. Being with me is not a good idea, whether it be one night or more."

"Oh but I think you're completely wrong.." Dean drawled as his hand moved from her hip to her upper thigh and his thumb trailed slow circles over her jeans clad legs.

"I'm not, Dean, trust me." Olivia said as she licked her lips involuntarily. Why now was she getting what she sort of wanted beyond anything else?

And of course, it was only fitting her crazy ex convict ex husband would be out of prison, on his way to find her, hell, he could even be here, in this bar, watching now, as they spoke. This disturbing thought had her slamming back two more shots, and then the alcohol started to kick in just a little bit.

"See now, that wasn't so damn hard, was it?" Dean asked as she leaned against him casually, he could tell she had a buzz and he smirked to himself. Now, if he got her in his bed tonight, then surely tomorrow morning she'd be out of his head, right?

Somehow, he had this nagging doubt in the back of his mind, but as per usual, he ignored it, and continued concetrating his efforts on acheiving the goal at hand.

"Let's dance."

"Oh really.. you can dance?" Olivia found herself joking, flirting and egging this entire bad idea on. Before long, she was pulled onto the floor, and he held her against him so tightly she thought she'd pass out from lack of oxygen.. It was almost a possessive way that he held her. But oddly enough, though it shouldn't have, it made her feel just a little bit more safe than she'd felt in a really long time.

"Now.. Let's get the hell outta here." Dean growled as he rubbed her torso against his, letting her feel how hard she made him. He wanted her to know outright what he wanted to do, so she wouldn't be hurt or confused when he was done with her.

Olivia shouldn't have, but she let him lead her out of the bar and up to his room. Even as he carried her to the double bed within, even as he pulled her panties down her legs with his teeth, then stopped to look up at her before plunging his thick and wet tongue inside of her as deeply as he could go, she knew this was a very, very bad idea. And she knew that somehow, she'd wind up regretting this in the morning, even if she never forgot tonight for the rest of her life, as short as it might be after tonight..

"Mmm, fuck.. Ya do taste as sweet as ya smell." he growled, as his tongue continued to slowly explore the smoldering heat between her legs at the moment. He picked up her leg, and positioned it over her shoulder as she gripped the sheets in her tightly balled fists and arched her back, thrusting her hips against his mouth. The alcohol was playing a huge part in freeing her right now, there was no denying it, her defenses were past down.

"Mine." he growled as he left a red bite mark on her inner left thigh. He had no idea why he said it, because after tonight, he was pretty damn sure he'd be done with the hold she'd had on his mind and body for the last few months. He had to hope so.

But as he thrust his beyond hard and throbbing erection inside of her eagerly, and watched her cry out as her back arched, her legs wrapped around his hips as tightly as they could go, he just had this nagging feeling that getting rid of her hold over him was going to be easier said than done.. Which made him slightly angry.

He growled and sped up, as he pulled her up and slid behind her, entering her from behind, thrusting so hard that the headboard hit the wall several times noisily. He bit into her shoulder as he growled and sucked leaving a bite mark and a purple mark behind in his wake.

"I wanna fucking bite you all over your body." he growled as he pushed her down onto her back again and pinned her hands beside her head, speeding up his thrusts as he re entered her from this position.

Olivia groaned. This felt beyond amazing, and she was trying to remind herself why it was a very, very bad idea. And she was also telling herself that maybe he was just looking for a one night fuck..

And she wasn't going to deprive herself one night with the guy she'd been fantasizing about for months now, that'd be stupid. Maybe if he did this, he'd leave her alone, get himself out of danger. Her hands when he unpinned them finally went through his hair, and then her fingernails dragged down his back leaving scratches behind in their wake.

"Ohhhh.." she groaned as she came harder than she had in a long time, her legs clenching his hips as tightly as they'd go, driving him even deeper inside as his hand rested on her throat, choking lightly. He growled as he came, and panting, he flopped down onto the bed beside her.

Olivia said breathlessly, "This was a very, very bad idea.. I never should have.. I need to go.. Now." as she jumped from the bed, and began grabbing her clothes, her ripped panties and her torn dress.

Dean wasn't sure why, but he grabbed her hand and smirking said calmly, "Get ya ass back in bed. Now. You don't wanna piss me off, do ya?"

"Oh trust me, Ambrose.. You, lover, are the least of my worries at this current moment." she said calmly as she held his gaze hoping he'd just get the hint and let her go. He'd gotten his one night stand, what more could the guy possibly want? Least of all with plain and boring her..

Especially when her ex could show up at any moment and if he saw them together, then he'd immediately zero in on Dean and she knew she'd die if anything happened to him because of her.. Which was odd, because she was honestly only physically attracted to him.. Or at least she'd been telling herself this for the better part of the past few months now.

"Oh really? Cause see, babe.. I can be a real dick when I'm angry."

" You do not scare me, Ambrose. Just trust me on this.. Tonight? One night thing.. That's all it can be.. I can't explain, but trust me.. You're better off if you just let me leave now."

He smirked as he forced her to curl her body against him and his index finger again found her lips, grazed the kiss plumped flesh as he muttered, "Just shut the fuck up and sleep. Ya look like ya haven't in weeks.. Or what? Ya afraid ya boyfriend's gonna come and find ya?"

"I wish it were that simple. God, I wish it were that simple." Olivia muttered in the dark as her fingers moved slowly across his muscular and sweaty chest.

She fell asleep, because when she woke up, it was to find his arm over her, holding her so that she couldn't really move easily.. But she knew that she had to get out of here, and the more he persisted, the worse danger she was putting him in. The thought crept into her mind and she shoved it out as quickly as it crept in.

What if she actually felt something real for him? What if these past few months fantasizing wasn't just some stupid crush or obsession.

The thought gripped her for a second as she sat there in the dark, trying to figure out how the hell to get back to her own room without someone seeing more of her body than she wanted them to see.

Her eyes settled on his shirt, the gray one he wore a lot, a button down, and she stole it, putting it on.

She scribbled a quick note that said simply, " This was the best bad idea I've ever had.. Just know that, no matter what happens.. But I have to leave now, and it's for the best if neither of us tries for a repeat. Trust me on this. I'll give your shirt back to you somehow. I just.. I can't see you right now.."

Then she was gone.

The sun shone in his eyes as he shielded them, his nose drifting to the empty pillow beside his face.. The pillow she'd had her head on last night.. it still smelled like her perfume.

His eyes popped open and he sat up, looking around the room, shocked. This was a first. He was normally the one who left first after a night like the one they'd had last night.. Not the other way around.

He read the note and angrily balled it up, tossed it at the garbage can which got kicked over next. He went into a full scale rage, trashing the hotel room until he couldn't breathe properly. Then he sank down on the bed and sat there staring at the wall.

She was hiding something from him.. That much he knew, and that much pissed him off.

But he also got a bad feeling for her, all in the same. And even now, with last night's marathon sex still on his mind, the urge, the thoughts of her were still there.

He stood and punched a wall, then poured himself a generous helping of Jack Daniels from the hotel room's mini bar.

By the time Seth and Roman got there, he was drunk enough that he gave not a single fuck about anything. And he was angry all day. Which went well when they went to the gym to train.

Once they got to the arena, he thought he'd be slick, sneak into her makeup area, but she wasn't in there any of the six times he tried.

"God damn it. I was supposed to be able to fuck her out of my fucking system. What the fuck is this?" he growled to himself as he paced the hall the last time he'd been by.

He caught sight of her in the catering a rea, but by the time he got away from Seth and Roman, she'd gone. But she'd left her scarf lying on the damn table again.

And the thing that made him the angriest was the overwhelming urge he had to pocket it. Which he did. An excuse to see her later, he told himself, to see her later, let her know just how angry she managed to make him when she ran out on him this morning.


	6. Chapter 6

_**: CHAPTER 05: YOU SHOULD BE OUT OF MY SYSTEM**__** :**_

It took a week, but he finally managed to get her off to herself, and they stood in the nearly empty hallway, just after the live taping ended. His hand was at her throat, but all he could see in her eyes wasn't fear, but annoyance, maybe? Anger at him? This only served to make him angrier.

"The fuck was that the other night? The note? You leavin? I told ya, ya didn't just get to walk out unless I said it was okay.. And I never fuckin gave the okay." he snarled at her as his grip increased slightly. His brow raised as she laughed a little and then managed to wiggle free from the hold and stand looking at him with her hand on her hip as if this entire thing not only amused her, but god damn annoyed her too.

"The fuck are ya laughin at?" he growled as he grabbed her, pinned her against the wall, leaning into her face as he said vehemently, "This is not fuckin funny, god damn it. Do ya not understand? I walk away. Not you, me."

"Whenever you're done, Dean.." Olivia said with an angry roll of her eyes as she gripped the wrist of the hand around his throat, dug her nails into his flesh and then said back just as bitterly, " Oh trust me.. I didn't wanna walk away, but you left me no fucking choice when you wouldn't let me go, now didn't you?"

He paused and then said with a smirk, " This game? It ain't gonna happen. Ya not gettin in my fuckin head like that."

"I wish you weren't in mine too, so don't feel bad." Olivia said as she bit her lip. She hated to lie to him, she hated to deny what they had, the tension and chemistry, her want to be with him had only tripled since that night when she'd let him have her then walked away like it meant nothing.

But if she didn't, then her ex would make sure she payed for it when he caught up to her finally. She couldn't let Dean be hurt. She knew the truth now, about her feelings where he was concerned, and even if she never got the chance to tell him, this was the one thing she could do to ensure he kept living.

So she was acting like he was nothing, like his touch, the way he kissed her, the way she'd practically sank into his arms when he'd pulled her back down on the bed that night meant nothing.

"Ya lying ya little bitch."

" No, Dean, I'm not. One night. I'm done with you."

"It ain't over until I say it's over." he growled as his hand made contact with her cheek. She bit her lip and winced as she absorbed the blow, then laughing, she repaid the favor, making sure that it hurt him just as much as when he'd hit her hurt her. "Is it over now, Ambrose? Because I can keep doing this all damn day if I have to.. What do you not get? I mean it's pretty fucking simple really."

He dropped his hold on her, a little shocked at her turning his own behavior right around on him. It was the first time that'd ever happened and he didn't like it. But strangely enough, even this didn't make him leave.

And before he could say anything, her face went pale and she shook in his grasp a little, before twisting herself free, taking off at a full speed run.

And then he saw her cell phone lying on the ground.

Picking it up, he let his eyes scan the text she'd just gotten, after she'd dropped it.

All it said was "I see you now bitch.. Ready to die? I told you, I'd kill you.. And now, I'm gonna fuckin murder him too."

He slid the phone into his pocket and his eyes flickered over the crowd, searing anger burning every pore in his body, making him almost red and shaky with rage.

But no one looked out of place.. Now more curious than anything, he started to think back over her behavior just now, which normally, he'd have just beaten the hell out of her and been done with it, or walked away, but now, it made sense.

He smirked as he took off in the direction she'd ran off in and found the room she'd disappeared into, kicking in the door.

"Go the fuck away! Are you fucking serious right now?" She screamed at him as she glared and her chest heaved, her face was flushed, her eyes wide with complete and total fear.

He held up her cell phone and then walked towards her slowly, a smug smirk on his face as he pinned her into the wall and said calmly, " I'm calling bullshit. Now. All that out there? An act."

"I-it was not." Olivia said weakly as she tried to keep him from guessing he was right just now.

"Then who the fuck is this god damn son of a bitch? And why's he fuckin making death threats on me now? See, I'm not the kinda guy who takes that shit lightly, Olivia. He's not gonna kill me or you."

"Oh really, genius.. And you know this how exactly?" Olivia asked as she looked up at him, her hand on her hip, determined NOT to become that girl, the one who hid behind a man.

No, she was facing this head on.. Just as soon as she got back to her hotel room and found her god damn gun. Once and for all, this shit with her ex was done.

She was sick of running, and of hiding, and just now, lying to Dean was the hardest thing she'd ever done, by far.

"I know this because I'm gonna kill that fuckin fuck." Dean said as he looked at her calmly, then said in a quieter tone, " I didn't.. I didn't wanna slap ya.. But damn it, Olivia, ya fuckin pissed me the fuck off." as his hand went to her face gingerly, touched the red handprint.

She bit her lip and raised her hand to the red handprint on his face then said quietly, "Dean.. he's murdered before.. I can't.. I'm not bringing you into this, this is my fucking problem."

"No, it's not, god damn it. He made it mine when he fuckin talked shit about killing me in a text, Olivia." Dean said calmly as he looked at her and then said "How long's this shit been goin on?"

"Since he got out of prison."

Dean blinked and then he raked his hand through his hair as he paced, thinking.

"Ya not goin back to the hotel alone. Ya come to my room. Got it? Look at me, god damn it, I'm telling you something." Dean demanded as he made her look up.

"No. I told you, this is done. I'm finishing it, one way or another."

"The fuck you are."

"Dean, just stop this. I've seen what he's capable of.. I won't, I can't.. If he hurt you.. Nevermind.." she turned to walk out, leaving him standing there, hands in his hair, confused.

Then he ran out after her, grabbing her wrist tightly. "You're not gonna get rid of me that god damn easy. And I don't give a fuck what you say, he bought me into this when he sent that text to ya."

Mentally, he was wondering why the fuck he wasn't just walking away, but for now, he was too damn mad about the nerve of some unknown man threatening his life to care.

He'd worry about why he wasn't hauling ass for an exit later. Right now, he intended to find this son of a bitch, no matter how long it took and make him see why you didn't fuck with Dean Ambrose, ever.


	7. Chapter 7

_**: CHAPTER 06: I KNOW YOUR NO GOOD, BUT YOUR STUCK IN MY BRAIN**__** :**_

Apparently, she didn't get it. And apparently, his plan to fuck her out of his mind didn't work. Because it seemed like she really went the extra mile to avoid him for about two more weeks. And it was driving Dean insane. His mind kept going back to that night, and lately, it was all he thought about, he even dreamt about it at night.

Something was not right. There was something about her he couldn't just shake as easily as anyone else. And naturally, everything he tried was in vain. He'd even bought a girl he met at the bar on his way back from the arena back up to his room tonight, just to see if he could do it. That'd been about 3 hours ago.. And while yes, he enjoyed the feeling of fucking someone, somebody's warm body pressed beneath his, somebody screaming his name over and over in passion, it just..

It wasn't the same as that one night with Olivia. Which totally went against his 'pussy's pussy' theory. And only served to make him angry every time he thought about it.

He lie on the oversized bed in his hotel room and crossed his arms behind his head. Even the fucking scalding hot shower hadn't burnt the memories out of his head, hadn't burnt the way his nose filled with her scent every single time a thought about her was triggered.

If he closed his eyes, he'd see her almost like a mirage or something. And he knew he was a little loopy, but this time.. This was something above and beyond his normal obsessions, his normal no fucks given attitude.

He lie there awake, his mind drifting in and out, replaying that one damn night over and over again. Then analyzing the bizarre scenario in the hallway at an arena a week after that night.. And now, it was almost like she'd purposely found a way to drop off the face of the earth.

Even Seth hadn't seen her, and they were supposed to be on speaking terms.

The door was knocked on, and he sprung up from the bed on autopilot, walked to open the door, not bothering to put on a t shirt, not bothering to hide his slightly disheveled state. He blinked in shock when she stood there, his button down shirt in her hands.

She fidgeted and looked around nervously then made herself look up at him. "I.. I bought your shirt back."

Dean smirked and grabbed hold of her wrist, yanked her into the room and shut the door firmly, locking it. He knew he shouldn't, but he was so fucking angry with her for disappearing like she had been and he was fucking sick of losing sleep over her, over that one night and the bizarre scenario in the hallway the next week after.

"The fuck have you been?" he growled as he kept a firm grip on her wrists with one hand, and used the other to tilt her chin up so that she had to fucking look at him. "Fuckin answer me, Olivia." he growled as he moved them back so that she was pinned against the wall, backed into a corner, and just where he wanted her, for lack of a simpler explanation.

"I had to do something." she said as if this were supposed to pacify his curiousity. As if this were supposed to appease him in some god damn way.

His hand swiftly reached out, made contact with her cheek. She flinched as if she expected to be slapped. But he held his hand there and then said with an angry growl, "I can't fucking get you out of my fucking head. I fucking hate it. What the fuck are you doing to me?"

Olivia's brow raised as she looked at him, heart racing, legs shaking.. He was having the same problem forgetting that night too?

Truthfully, she knew this was a very, very bad idea, but she hadn't been able to stay away any longer. Which made her furious with herself, because his fucking life depended on her staying the fuck out of his life.

"Dean, I..."

"Shut up, god damn it." he growled as he looked at her intently, licked his lips hungrily and then paced a moment, grumbling to himself.

Olivia started to move, but with lightening quick reflexes, he was in front of the door, blocking it. He smirked and said "If ya planned on leavin? Ya never should have come here tonight."

"Dean, let me the fuck out of here. I did what I came to..." her words died on her lips as he shook his head, smirking, then trailed his finger slowly down her neck and said "No, ya didn't. If it were really the fucking shirt, you would have given it to Seth to give back. The sooner you stop playin this game, the better off you'll be."

"It's not a game, I swear."

"You're lying."

Olivia had been about to argue, protest, but her cell phone broke the silence in the room and he snatched it before she could even answer, chuckling at the nerve of the bastard who'd threatened him in a text about two weeks ago to call now and interrupt the confrontation they were having.

"Who the fuck is this?" he asked as he held the phone out of Olivia's reach, smirking at her the entire time, watching her squirm and enjoying it a little bit.

The man on the other end laughed and then said "This is Jade's husband, motherfucker. Who the fuck are you?"

"Who the fuck is Jade?" Dean asked, his brow raising.

"Yeah, about that, boy.. See, that little bitch you're with right now.. There's a lot of shit about her that you don't know. First being that she's mine and I'm gonna fucking splash your blood all over every god damn wall in your hotel room if you don't give her the phone, right now." the man said as he laughed, lit a cigarette.

Dean peered through the curtains down into the parking lot and then said with a smirk, "Ya still haven't answered my question.. Who the fuck is this, and why the fuck are you callin Olivia the name Jade?"

"She thought it'd be cute to cut and run, the little cunt did, while I was in prison. Changed her name too." The man said calmly as he exhaled and stared up at the hotel room he'd just seen his bitch of a wife go into.

Dean looked at Olivia and smirked a moment, then went back to looking out the window as he said casually, "Couldn't have something to do with you treatin her like shit though, right?"

All he got was a laugh and the phone hung up. He turned and dropped the phone onto the table and walked over to Olivia, as he said calmly, quietly, "Now... Fucking talk now. Everything, all of it."

"Dean, trust me.. You never should have kept on coming after me after we had that one night together. You are officially in over your head, and it's all my fault."

"That tells me nothing, Olivia.. Or should I call ya Jade?"

Olivia grimaced and then sat down on the bed, taking a deep breath. She looked up to find him staring at her, his hand in his hair as if he were lost in his own mind.

"That man was the worst thing that ever fucking happened to me. He's a monster.. I know what you're going to say, Dean.. But trust me.. He's murdered someone before. In fact, that's what he went to prison for. At first, when I was young and stupid, I used to tell myself 'Oh he loves me' or 'he'll change'.. But when he started to really treat me like shit, it got bad and fast.. So, I ran.. My dad.. He went to check on me, fatherly instincts I guess.. And that bastard killed him.. He started to come after me, and baited me with what he'd done. So, I confronted him.. Only after I'd turned over all the texts and voicemails to the cops.. And filed for divorce so I could make sure he fried for what he did.. But, some evidence got tampered with, thanks to his buddies on the force, and he got off relatively light.. He escaped prison and by then, he'd threatened me a few times in letters, so I legally changed my name, thinking stupidly, new name, new life, he can't find me.. But somehow, he's managed to. Every fucking time."

After she told Dean this, she collapsed back onto the bed and said "He's not gonna come out of hiding until he's gotten me good and scared. So looking for him won't do any good. He's not in the parking lot, chances are, he left as soon as he made that call just now." as she squeezed her eyes shut, fought the tears. God, she was just so fucking sick of this, living in a nightmare.

The fact that he was sitting there, not saying anything made her curious, so she looked up. Dean looked at her and then said finally, "Anyone know about this but me?"

"No. That's kinda why I don't really have many friends. If I let anyone close to me, he'll kill them. I mean he killed my father.. He almost killed me when I tried to escape, and he did kill our kid when he beat the living hell out of me one night, because I wouldn't get rid of it. He wanted me all to himself. He won't stop until he fucking gets it, but I'll die before that shit happens." Olivia answered as she sat up slightly and then said "Do you see now why I told you to leave me the fuck alone?"

"No, not really. If all ya wanted was one god damn night, then why fuckin care what happens after?" Dean asked before he could stop himself from saying it. He honestly hadn't wanted to know, because he figured that the only thing they had going even was physical attraction, and he wasn't even going to attempt letting her get close to him, or get close to her. He knew he was a fucked up and sick, bad guy.

Olivia walked over slowly, straddled the edge of his lap. She'd had to tell him this much when she'd never intended to, she may as well go ahead and get the rest off her chest too. It wasn't as if he'd actually give a shit, she figured, so there wasn't any harm.

"I care because.." she started and then stopped when he looked up at her, waiting on her to finish her sentence. But she couldn't because if she said it, then that made it real. That officially put him in danger, because he'd take what she said and run with it instead of being smart and leaving her alone.

She knew him well enough by now to know that once he got something in his mind and he wanted it, he wasn't stopping until he got it. She'd thought giving him that one night would make him stop but it hadn't. And she was too damn weak to fight him off anymore.

"Why?"

"Because I.. You make me feel something.. And even though it scares me because I shouldn't, because I know how you are, I know what I'm getting into, and I know I should run.. I know I can't... But I also know that if I don't, then he's going to see you as something in his way, and he's going to do to you what he did to my dad." she finally answered, her voice getting lower and smaller with each word she spoke.

Okay, so she hadn't been able to say those three fucking words, but then again, she knew on some level that he'd never be able to either, and that this entire situation was already fucked up to begin with, but it was beyond fucked up when you added her jealous and possessive ex to the mix.

Dean let what she said sank in, and thought about it over and over for a while before he finally said calmly, " And now he's fucking dead." as he looked at her and added, "Don't fuckin worry about me. I take care of myself."

"It's not that simple. Did you not hear anything I told you, Dean? Which part did you tune out? He fucking kills everything I care about. He won't stop until he's got me exactly where he wants me. and I'm sick of everyone else being collateral damage for my fucked up judgement." Olivia said firmly as she stood and then said quietly, "I need to go."

It took maybe half a second for him to stand, be behind her at the door, his hand over hers on the knob. "Ya not fuckin leaving. You don't get to do that shit, Livvie. You don't get to come in here, tell me all this and then leave. Did you hear a fucking thing I said when I pulled ya in here?"

Olivia thought back to how he'd been ranting and raving at her for disappearing on him, and the way he'd been acting. Slowly, it clicked into place and she felt her heart skipping beats. Her mind screamed at her in a blind panic to run, based solely on how jealous he got and how he acted when she pissed him off, or the fact that he'd die if she stayed, but when she tried to turn the knob, walk out the door, it felt like her feet were rooted to the floor.

"I told ya.. When I want something, Livvie.. I usually wind up getting it." Dean said calmly as he stepped back and pulled her hand off the knob, turning her around to face him.

"This won't ever fucking work."

"Yeah? Well maybe I don't give a fuck. Maybe I'm fuckin sick of wanting you so much it drives me god damn insane. Look, if you want a god damn fairytale, go rent a disney movie. This is real life, princess." Dean said dryly as he studied her face and waited on her to say something.

This was like the girl with the dog all over again. And he figured she'd tell him he was fucked in the head or a bad guy and walk out now too, because what he'd just done, what he'd just said was basically the only way he knew how to admit that he even felt anything for her beyond wanting to fuck her 9 ways to Sunday every single day of the week, every single hour of the day.

It was as close to an I love you as she was ever going to get from Dean Ambrose.

They'd started this whole little dance months ago with their staring at one another back and forth, and it all came down to this. He sat waiting on her to walk out the door as she'd been planning.

If she were smart, she probably would have.

"You realized that we have literally every god damn card in the deck against this.. Right?" she asked finally as she hesitated, her hand on the knob again, his stomach twisting in knots as he mentally kicked himself for the sea of emotions he felt right now, and not just being able to keep being the bastard that everyone loved to hate.

Her hand dropped from the knob and she walked back across the room towards him and sighed before sitting back down on his lap, facing him.

"If he touches you, Dean, I'm gone. I'm not losing you to that son of a bitch." she muttered as her lips found his, her tongue slipped past his lips slowly after trailing along his lower lip.

"I'm gonna fuckin murder him." Dean said as he pushed her back on the bed, and leaned over her, attacking her lips and neck in rough kisses and bites, leaving his mark everywhere he could think of on her body.

The cell phone vibrated on the table and he stopped to pick it up, his blue eyes icing over with rage as he read the text and stood punching a wall.

Olivia picked up the phone and read the text, and groaning said "God damn it."

'Have fun fucking her.. Because soon, I'm gonna kill her and then I'm gonna crucify you.' the text read as she grimaced and threw the phone onto the table, her stomach twisting in knots again. He knew exactly how many buttons to push and what to say to make her feel insecure and afraid every single time he wanted to.

"C'mon. We're goin to get your shit out of your room." Dean said as he pulled her from the bed and lead her outside and then down the stairs, to her room on the next floor.

Once they'd gotten her stuff into his room, he paced with his hand in his hair, muttering to himself before stopping and saying, "Ya not leaving my sight. Got it? Fuckin answer me, Livvie."

Olivia nodded and bit her lip as she studied his face for a moment, and wondered what exactly she'd managed to get herself into.

Somehow, even knowing exactly how Dean Ambrose was, she didn't regret the decision entirely, because she actually felt safer with him than just dealing with all of this by herself.

And she felt a huge relief at not having to fight to keep him out now. But she had a very bad feeling that this time, her ex's toying with her was the prelude to something really, really bad about to happen.  
She'd just make damn sure it was to her, not to Dean. She was not losing someone she cared about because of this again. This time, no matter how it ended, it would end with her. Because she made this mess.

"Livvie.. Whatever ya thinking, stop."

She forced herself to smile and look normal and then said "Nothing.."

Dean eyed her suspiciously and then said firmly, "Stay the fuck out of this. This is between me and that fuck. I'm not letting ya get hurt."

She bit her lower lip nervously. Did this mean he planned to go after her ex? The look in his eyes seemed to indicate that that was most likely his plan.

Neither of them realized that her ex had his own ideas, and below them, sitting in the parking lot, he smirked to himself as he thought about how it was going to feel to choke every last breath out of that bitch. And make that fucker she was nailing watch. If he couldn't have her, noone was.


	8. Chapter 8

_**: CHAPTER 07: THE PRESSURE IS ON **__**:**_

"Yeah? Well fuck you, Dean. If you think for one god damn minute that I'm fucking every man who looks at me... You're a fucking idiot and you have serious trust issues. Know what? I do not need this shit. Not on top of everything else." Olivia shouted in the middle of catering as she snatched her hand out of his iron clad grip and calmly poured her soda over his head before walking out the door, letting it slam behind her as she did so.

The stress of the entire situation, their beginning relationship was already entirely too fragile to last, but with her ex playing this game of cat and mouse, and her being sick lately, she was just so sick of his accusations, his trust problems, the bullshit that came with Dean Ambrose in general.

She loved him, but she had to admit, the man could be a damn child at times. And lately, with all the stress, it'd been coming out more and more frequently. Then again, she'd been a bit moody, downright bitchy, so it wasn't like she was putting the blame solely on him.

Dean growled at himself as he turned, ran down the hall after her, ignoring the faces of his co workers. He didn't give a shit what any of them thought about him in all honesty, but seeing her eyes cloud up like she'd cry at any second.. Especially knowing that she was already under more than enough shit without his being a fucking dick.

In his own defense, he wasn't really TRYING to be a dick, he was just not used to being with her so much. But at the same time, even if he tried, he knew he'd probably never be able to stay away. Though he'd never tell another living soul that, because that'd be admitting she had some degree of power and he was not about to do that.

Hell no, because he knew from experience, you let a woman know she holds any cards, its' all downhill from that moment forth.

He caught up to her and grabbed her, pinning her against a wall as he growled out, "The fuck do ya think ya doing? Did I fucking say you could walk away? Did I?"

"No, Dean, but if I hadn't? I'd have done worse than dump my soda on your head. I'm not.. Look, you can't get fucking insecure every single time another man so much as breathes my air. Who the fuck am I with Dean? Tell me! Who the fuck am I with?"

"Me. And that ain't changing unless I say so." Dean grumbled as his hand went to her hip, his other hand ran through her hair, rested on the back of her neck. "Calm down."

"Me? Calm down? Fucking seriously, did you fucking say that to me? You were the one who stormed into the god damn makeup room, pinned me against a wall, accused me of fucking not only Seth, but any other man on the god damn roster, all because Seth asked if I felt any better."

"Do ya?"

"Don't change the subject, god damn it, I'm still mad as hell at you, Dean Ambrose." Olivia started as the headlights rounded the corner, speeding at them like a bullet.

Dean didn't think, he just yanked them back out of the way, sending both of them falling down onto the floor of the garage.

"You okay?" he asked as she nodded. The car stopped and backed up and before she could stop him, Dean ran over and was yelling into the window at the driver. And then he pulled the guy out of the car and started beating him relentlessly, in anger. "The fuck was that, you son of a bitch?" he growled as he slammed the man's head repeatedly off the hood of the car, the blows each time the mans head struck making a resounding and echoing thud throughout the empty garage.

"My boy sent me to scare ya." the man said through a mouth full of crimson, bleeding because Dean hit him with at least two lightening quick right hooks before he started using the man's head as a basketball.

"That so? Well you tell your boy to bring his elusive ass outta hiding. Let's settle this man to man." Dean said with a malicious laugh as he picked up the man and slammed him down onto the hood of the car, making it jump for a moment, almost.

Olivia screamed, hoping it'd get someone to come out, and the man would leave, but noone came. All she could do was scan the dimly lit garage for a weapon, any weapon and wait on her chance. She wasn't going to let Dean get hurt because of her. And the stress and tension she'd been under were putting her into a position where she was dangerously close to snapping.

Her hand closed around a small piece of pipe, and when the other man managed to get Dean into a stranglehold, she ran, hitting him in the back of the head. The man slumped forward, and Dean shoved him off, letting him hit the garage floor with a small and slight thud as he gave him a swift kick to the midsection and leaned over, then said "I want ya to go back to your boy.. Tell him I'm waitin. And that when he finally does get the balls to come at me like a god damn man, he better be ready, because it's gonna take the entire god damn Army and the Marines to get me off him. And when I'm done with him? He's gonna know what real pain, what real fear is."

He turned to Olivia and then said calmly, "The fuck did you do that for? I had it under control. He coulda grabbed ya, hauled ass. Damn it woman." as he gripped her wrist and practically dragged her back inside with him, the two of them collapsing into chairs at a table in catering.

Neither one of them spoke for a few moments, but when someone finally did, it was Olivia.

"Dean, maybe this is all wrong.. I mean we never do anything but fight, and this situation with my ex husband, his fucking insane friends isn't doing anything to help."

He looked up with a cold look in his eye and blinked, stunned. "You wanna walk away now?"

"No, I just... I don't want you getting hurt."

"And I wanna see you get hurt?" he asked, his anger slowly returning. If he did think about it, she was right. They did fight a lot, especially lately, with her ex's threats and her having been sick a lot recently, his being worried about it, but too damn stubborn, too set in his ways and not knowing how to show it.

"Damn it, answer me, Livvie. The fuck is makin ya say this?"

"Nothing Dean. I'm just sick of all the fucking tension. I mean, I don't want to leave you.. But if I stay, then stuff like today, days like today are only going to get twice as many, and twice as bad. "

He stood and stormed off, leaving her sitting there. Outside in the hallway, he took a moment to realize that his throat was constricting, his mouth was dry and his stomach was churning, everything had a bitter taste.

But he was still determined NOT to let her just go, leave her alone. And this made him angrier than he'd ever been before at himself.

Sitting down a minute, he figured that was the end of it, that they'd finally just had enough, their new relationship couldn't really take anymore.

Olivia sat there, she wiped her eyes and the emptiness hit her. She looked up, fixing her eyes on the door. He'd just walked away.. But he looked like he'd been hurt.

She wasn't strong, she couldn't take it. And she couldn't not be with him, either. She took a deep breath and pushing her long brunette bangs behind her right ear, she walked outside and scanned the hallway, looking for him.

Wandering down the hallway partially, she finally found him in an empty corridor, pacing, swearing.

"Dean?"

Dean stopped and turned around, his eyes practically glowing with anger and rage, but for a moment, the hurt look was there too, before eventually just turning icy.

"What? Didn't ya say what ya wanted to?"

"Dean.. I didn't.. Look, I know I shouldn't even be standing here right now. I should go with my gut and run, so at least I know nothing happens to you.. But I can't.. I don't wanna be without you either.. And we're always fighting, we're always hurting one another. I don't know what to do.. It's like the more I try and prove I'm not going anywhere, that I don't actually want anyone but you, the harder you work to fuck us up."

He stopped in his tracks, and pinning her in, he hit the wall next to her head, causing her eyes to shoot wide open. He knew he shouldn't have done it, but he couldn't help it, she was so damn wishy washy that it just made him as angry as angry got.

Especially lately, with his actually realizing that like it or not, she was under his god damn skin, he was addicted to her, and there wasn't really any forseeable escape. Yet he also knew what she said in catering was true, that they weren't good for each other, and the situation was only even more volatile right now.

"Livvie.. Ya know I ain't a good guy."

"Dean, you are. You just won't let yourself be. Would an asshole have done that in the parking garage just now? I don't think so. An asshole would have let one night be it."

He managed to look at her, watching her intently as if he were trying to figure out what angle she was working, because if he knew one absolute truth in life, it was that EVERYONE had an angle. Was she going to try and change him later on down the line?

Because he wasn't ever going to change. She needed to realize that.

He'd leaned his head against the wall in the hallway, and was lost in his own mind, when he felt arms go around him from behind, and her face pressed into his back. "I'm sorry."

He stayed quiet, and she stayed where she was, until finally he turned around. He didn't say anything, just watched her.

They stood there in complete silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Both of them knew this entire situation was completely wrong, not to mention fucked up, but neither of them really wanted to or could really exist without the other now.

They were addicted to one another.

Finally, Olivia sighed and said "I didn't mean it. I'm not going anywhere." as she leaned against him cautiously, looked up and held his gaze.

"I wasn't gonna let ya." he muttered quietly, as he forced himself to calm down internally. She went pale, and bolted down the hallway for a bathroom and he stood outside the door waiting.

It had to be the stress, plain and simple. Just the stress of their situation, of them being so god damn stubborn, so much alike...

He shoved out any other thought for the moment, because he just didn't WANT to think of that happening. Not now.. Because he'd never be a good enough man to have a kid.

Ever.

He knew this, and even if he weren't aware of it, he knew plenty of people who wouldn't hesitate reminding him just how fucked up he was, just how badly he hurt and destroyed people.

Olivia finished being sick, and after digging, finding her toothbrush and small toothpaste, she brushed her teeth, rinsed her mouth out. She'd been sick a lot lately, but she was not letting herself even toy with the possibility that she might be pregnant.

Because there was too much at stake, and the danger was too much. Not to mention Dean's reaction to any possible news like that.

She sighed as she walked out into the hallway. Dean raised his brow, raking his hand through his hair. 'Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think it's something I'm eating." Olivia said calmly as she managed a smile, trailed her hand along his cheek and said again, "I'm sorry about just now.. I don't know what made me say that."


	9. Chapter 9

_**: CHAPTER 08: I POUR KEROSENE ON EVERYTHING I LOVE AND WATCH IT BURN **__**:**_

Dean glared at Olivia as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Lately, she'd been in a real bitch of a mood, and he just had this feeling.. She was getting ready to walk away.

This pissed him off. He didn't want her to walk away. Even if it was the very last thing he could or would willingly admit to, he wasn't about to give her up without one hell of a fight first hand. Not after the shit they'd managed to make it through so far.

The girl approached him, all giggly, and twisting her hair around her finger, and she said shyly, "Are you Dean Ambrose?"

He rolled his eyes, but nodded, his eyes roaming vacantly over the girls body as she said with a little giggle that was supposed to be cute but personally, he found extremely annoying, "Cool."

"Did ya want somethin?" he asked as he shifted his gaze back to Olivia, watching her carefully, making sure that none of these other bastards lingering backstage got any cute ideas, to try and take what belonged to him.

"I was wondering if maybe you'd autograph something for me?" she asked, biting her lower lip. Normally, he'd be flirting back, but currently, he was staring a hole through Olivia, who was being awfully chatty with Daniel Bryan, the little goatfaced fuck.

"Sure. Ya got a pen?" Dean asked, taking the pen he was handed, all while still watching Olivia. "What's the name?"

"Julie." she giggled, again. He waited, expecting to be handed a piece of paper or something else, but instead, she giggled and raised her shirt, pointed to her hip or somewhere. Dean raked his hand through his hair, excited by the flash of skin, the thrill of being flirted with.

Lately, all he and Olivia did was fight and make up. The making up was the best part, because just as much as he enjoyed wild and very rough sex, so did she. Just this thought bought a smirk to his face, with the images that filled his mind following the thought.

He probably shouldn't have signed the girl's body, but hey, she did ask him to. It wasn't like he was taking the girl back to his hotel room to fuck her, right?

Well, he thought Olivia might see it that way, but apparently, not today. Apparently, whatever horomones were surging to make her a raging bitch on wheels chose that exact moment to kick in.

Olivia scowled as she caught Dean signing a female fan's body. She bit her lip, kept her calm for the moment. When the girl left, she stormed over and stood there, glaring at him angrily.

"The fuck was that? You bitch at me about breathing the same air as another man, but you sign a girl's fucking body? How the fuck is that even close to fucking fair?" she practically yelled, getting angry, but trying to stay calm, her stomach churning queasily.

She'd been sick over half the damn day, she was not in the mood for this. Not in the slightest. He grabbed her wrists as she raised her hand and then said calmly, "At least I'm not making fuck me eyes at a fucking goat faced son of a bitch.. I bet you're soaked right now, thinking about fucking that little fuck.."

Her hand, the free one, met with his face and he growled, grabbing her up over his shoulder roughly as he carried her down the hallway, to someplace more privately.

Gritting his teeth, he sat her down, then paced, swearing. "If ya ever fuckin hit me again, Livvie. I'm gonna make sure I slap ya so fuckin hard that ya feel it into next week."

"Fuck you, Dean."

" You do.. Every single god damn night, princess, and don't ya forget that shit, either. You... are mine." he growled as he pulled her against him, prevented her from running out on this like she had been lately.

"You keep reminding me, yet you keep trying to make sure you push me just enough to make me fucking want to either run or fucking murder you. I'm getting sick of it, Dean. I'm constantly sick or upset, the stress is getting so damn much that sometimes I just cry." she said calmly as she tore herself free, stormed off.

Dean stormed after her, grabbing her to hold her. "Calm down, damn it." he muttered as he looked at her and then pointed out, " Ya knew what you were gettin into before this ever got started."

"I did. But.."

He held his fingers to her lips, to make her be quiet. He was just sick of fighting for a while. Sick of the stress and tension building, sick of worrying about her being sick all the time, sick of wondering if she'd finally have enough of his shit and walk away like the other people in his life had.

In some ways, if he just let her go, he'd be doing himself a favor, because then, he wouldn't have to sit around and wait on her to finally have enough and leave. But he also knew that deep down inside him, it'd kill him to do it, he'd never be able to do it.

Her phone rang, and she growled, throwing it as if it were made of snakes. Dean grabbed the phone and picked it up, growling and swearing.

'This fucking fuck.. he really thinks he's gonna get ya.. I'm not gonna let anything happen to ya, Livvie.' Dean muttered as he stared at her a moment watching her facial expressions. Things were right on that edge, if he lost her or something happened..

She sighed and then said quietly, almost in defeat, "Dean, I don't know how much more of this I can actually take.. I mean.. I love you.. Just the way you are.. But you just keep trying to shove me away, and I'm sick of fighting if you're only going to fight me on it, on how I really feel, that much harder."

He went to touch her, something, as the shock settled in, hearing her say what she had, but she shrugged his hand away and walked down the hallway, her legs shaking, her breathing erratic. He stood there a moment, his hand in his hair, grumbling to himself.

He'd done it again. He'd taken something good, twisted it, made it something bad, something painful, something that killed him to admit that he never wanted to mess up.

He went to look for her, and he couldn't find her in the building.. But AJ found him in the hallway, her hand on her hip as she said "Olivia left. She was sick."

"I know that.. Wait, what the fuck? She left? When?" Dean asked, for some reason not getting a good feeling, not at all, not in the slightest.

And Dean Ambrose always went with his gut.

AJ looked at her watch, then said warily, "About 10 minutes ago. She did my hair and makeup, then told Vickie she wasn't feeling so good, and Vickie told her to go get rest.. She also said that if she'd leave YOU alone, Ambrose, she'd feel a lot better."

He growled, but for the moment, held his temper. She knew something he wanted to know, so common sense predicated that at least until he was done finding out where Olivia went off to, alone he needed to hold his temper.

"Where'd she go?"

AJ pointed and then said calmly, "She's probably already gone by now, Ambrose." as she skipped off, gleeful to be the tormentor, not the tormented.

He growled and took off towards the door of the parking garage, swearing to himself. If he hadn't done that stupid shit just now, signing that girl right in fucking front of her..

And her ex was lurking, waiting on a chance like this one.

Out in the garage, he took out his cell phone, started dialing her number, thinking he'd see if she'd cooled off any, he knew just how bad her temper was, because it equalled his own and he knew that if he tried to just find her, she'd fight him and make a scene, and he had a bitching headache from the fight they'd just been in.

And when he heard Unforgiven II playing right by his feet, he got a sick feeling in his stomach.

Punching a wall, he bent, picked up the phone and shoved it in his pockets, pacing, angry.

If he found this motherfucker, the man was dead. He'd kill him where he stood.

But deep down, what little conscience that he had was screaming at him, 'All your fault.' over and over. He growled and then ran back inside.

Finding Seth and Roman, he explained what just happened, or what he was afraid just happened.

"You have no proof, Ambrose. What if she just dropped it?"

"Don't fuckin tell me I don't fuckin know.. I fuckin know that's not it, Rollins." Dean growled, about a second away from punching him, even though he was only angry at himself right now really.

Dean never really dealt well with rational thought. And his hair trigger temper only made this so much worse.

Roman seperated them and then said calmly but firmly, "Just give it a few minutes. She'll cool off, come back. She always does, Ambrose.. for some fucking reason, she loves you, no matter what you throw at her."

He paced, biting his thumb.

Where the fuck was she?


	10. Chapter 10

_**: CHAPTER 09: GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER, EVEN WHEN YOU FALL APART PT 2**__**:**_

Her head ached and her mouth felt dry. She could taste the dried blood on her lip and she felt the coldness of the pavement beneath her as she lie there. The last thing she really remembered was taking the EPT after storming off from Dean and then heading back to the hotel, after she'd told Vickie she was sick.

She'd really just needed time to think, but her head was pounding with a slow dull ache, and she had to wonder just how many hours she'd been gone.. And had Dean even bothered to look for her? At all?

Probably not, she had to bet, given that she'd pretty much exploded on him backstage and told him she couldn't take any of his shit anymore, knowing she didn't mean it.

She groaned and grabbed around, finally finding something solid to stand on, just as dim headlights filled the garage. Before she could really move towards them, CM Punk and Paul Heyman were out of the car, asking where she'd been, telling her that Dean didn't say anything when he'd left, but he'd left after dismantling the room Shield used, and almost beating the shit out of a security guard and some other people who got in his way.

"He was coming to look for you." Paul Heyman said as he fixed his eyes on the girl with slight concern. Punk nodded and held up a finger as he dialed Dean's number and then said "We found her, man.. We were coming to look for your crazy ass and make sure you weren't in jail or murdering someone, but we found her in the garage."

Dean had just gotten done beating on hotel doors, shoving his cell phone into people's faces and asking if they'd seen Livvie when his cell phone rang and he heard Punk on the other end. All he heard were the words "We found her, man." He didn't need to hear the rest, instead, he quickly said "Keep her fucking there. Do not let her fucking leave."

Punk fixed his eyes uneasily on Olivia, he knew how the two of them fought and he also knew a little bit about the current situation she was in, given that Heyman, his manager, was also managing Shield currently, in their own endeavors, so Dean had had to tell Heyman what was going on, why he needed a room at a different hotel than the rest of the group.

He had to wonder if he were doing the right thing, given what he knew about their relationship, as he agreed to keep her there for Dean. He thought about it a moment, not wanting to put her in worse situation than she'd already been in, judging by the bruises and scratches on her face and arms, her hands and the way her clothes were dirty and ripped.

"Okay, man." he said as he turned to Olivia and held his hand over the phone asking, "You sure you want to wait here on him? Say the word, Livvie and Paul will hide you somewhere safe."

"No, I'll wait. I'm just.. I'm shocked he was actually out looking for me, in all honesty. I mean, you saw the fight backstage that we had."

"That's exactly why I don't like doing this. But if you're sure that's what you want.."

"Punk.. I can handle Dean. I get him." Olivia said calmly, as she added almost quietly, "Besides.. I need to.. I have to talk to him.. Think you and Paul could leave your phones on, just in case it doesn't go over well?"

Punk nodded, but raised his brow, a little curious at what she was planning on talking to Ambrose now. It had to be huge, if Olivia was a little freaked out at the possibility of talking to him about it.

Dean's car pulled into a parking spot, and he slid out, and jogged over, looking at her, grimacing as he grumbled and swore, then said stiffly, "Did I not tell ya to not fuckin leave here alone? Huh? Do ya just wanna get yourself killed, Livvie? Ya know how serious this shit is. Yet ya refuse to listen to me, ya keep stormin the fuck off when we fight."

Punk and Paul Heyman left and Dean picked Olivia up and carried her to the car. "Let's go."

"Dean.. I.. I need the hospital.. I have to make sure I'm okay."

"I knew that, Livvie, I was takin ya there anyway." Dean muttered as he leaned over and placed his hand on the back of her neck firmly, and pulled her into a kiss, before saying quietly, "We'll talk about the damn fight later." as he pulled out of the parking garage, allowing himself to calm down now, allowing his anger to bury itself back down.

The drive to the hospital, they were both quiet, but he noticed that she curled against him over the console, and she was shaking a little bit as if scared.

Mentally, he decided then that if he ever caught this bastard of an ex husband of hers, he was going to enjoy snapping him in half. After all, the man had been stupid enough to lay hands on her, to touch something that belonged to him now.

He might not treat her the best, but he'd be damned if this bastard was going to do this to her, and walk away on his own legs. No, when Dean got finished with the man, he'd have to be wheeled out on a stretcher.. If they could find all the parts he managed to rip loose beforehand.

Parking, he helped her out and then asked quietly, "You want me to wait or..."

"If you want to leave, go ahead." Olivia said quietly, as she looked up at him. His eyes had this strange look to them, like he was freaked out right now, but he wasn't going to admit that he was freaked out. Or that he was still slightly angry from earlier.

Either way, she wasn't sure what she'd tell him, after she made sure she was okay, and either confirmed or denied that she was pregnant.

If she were, that changed everything.. and it might not be for the better.

"I'm not leavin ya.. I meant, do ya want me to go in with ya, or .."

"I think I'll be okay." Olivia muttered as they walked into the building and he got someone to take her back, by making a scene, of course.

The second the door shut ,and it was just herself and the doctor in the room, she said in a rush, " I took an EPT before anything happened to me.. I wanted to know if I am pregnant, and if the baby's okay?'

The doctor nodded and hooked her to the machinery. She gasped as she heard a small but even heartbeat a few minutes later.. the doctor, smiling said in concern, "If you don't mind me asking.. The man who's waiting outside.. did he do this to you?"

"No."

"Your baby is fine. Now I need to look at you, ma'am.. " the doctor said as she unhooked all the devices monitoring the baby, and started to look over her injuries. After she finished, she turned to Olivia and then said calmly, "You seem to be fine. You might have some bruises and cuts, a minor concussion. Do you mind if I ask what did happen to you?"

" I got into a fight with my ex husband. It's hard to explain really, the entire situation is fucked up." Olivia muttered, still in shock, still processing what she knew now.

One, she was pregnant. It was definitely Dean's baby, no doubt about that, because she hadn't been with anyone else but him since leaving her ex husband a few years ago.

Two, she had no idea what the state of their relationship was currently.. She had walked away from him and told him she couldn't take anymore, just minutes before she was attacked by her ex husband. What were they to one another now? Did he ever even really **want** her?

And finally, the third and biggest of the things running through her mind right now.. What the hell was she going to do about telling him about the baby, about her being pregnant. He never even hinted at settling or slowing down for that matter, nor did he ever give any indication as to what he really felt about her, at least not verbally.

All she had to go on were his actions, and lately, she couldn't tell by those, one way or the other.

Out in the waiting room, Dean sat having his own mental battle. What the fuck was taking them so long? He stood and paced and was about to go down to the parking lot for a smoke when Roman and Seth filed in quietly, solemnly, sitting down, handing him a coffee.

"Figured you could use it." Seth said quietly as Roman nodded and then asked, "Are we doing something to this motherfucker?"

"If I ever get my god damn hands on him.. He's dead." Dean muttered and then said quietly, "She should be out here by now, what the fuck is taking so god damn long?"

"Relax, Ambrose.. She'll be fine. She's a fighter."

"Yeah, I know that, but that man, I mean.. What if he? You know.. It's so fuckin sick what I keep thinkin might have happened to her while I was off having a fuckin tantrum about her having the nerve to walk away from me that.. Fuck it.. I hate this emotional bullshit. I'm not a pussy, I'm ice cold.. The fuck is any of this even getting to me for?"

He sat down, his head resting on his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, his feet tapping a steady and impatient rhythym against the cold and tacky linoleum floor. Right as he was about to throw the damn cup of coffee in disgust, she walked out, slowly, cautiously, almost as if she were scared to death.

Standing up, he walked over, brow raised..

"So, umm... everything okay? I'm gonna kill that motherfucker, Livvie."

Olivia looked at him and then nodded, biting her lip. She'd been fully intending on telling him she was pregnant, just getting it out there, out of the way, but she just wasn't sure how it'd go. And Seth and Roman were there. "I'm fine, Dean.. I just.. I need to sleep or something.."

Dean got the sneaking suspicion she wasn't telling him something, but for the moment, he let it go. It kept nagging at him and as the four of them walked down to the parking lot, he wondered why she was acting so distant. Then he got angry with himself internally for even giving a shit about it.

They'd been pushed to the breaking point and beyond, and given the way he often treated her, deep down, he wouldn't blame her if she meant every word she said before all this happened.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet, she stared out the window mostly, her mind racing, nervous.

Should she stay, tell him, or should she run and hope to hell he forgot about her, just so she didn't have to wonder if he were going to walk away when she told him what she knew to be true now...

Dean parked and then without looking at her he said quietly, "The fuck is it?"

"Don't make me answer that, Dean."

He growled to himself and got out of the car, went around and helped her out. Tonight had scared him, even though he'd die before telling anyone that. Once they were in the room they'd been sharing, he closed the door firmly, locked it and turned around, to find her pacing, as if she wanted to say something, but she just wasn't sure how to do it, or if she even wanted to.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get some sleep.."

"Don't give me that shit, Livvie. I'm not fucking stupid." Dean commanded as he stood in front of her, made her look up at him.

"Okay, fine. You asked for it, just remember that when you hear what I have to say." Olivia said back angrily as she looked at him, her hand on her hip, her other hand in her hair as if she were still not sure whether to say what she wanted to say or not.

"Say it already, god damn. You're done. You told me that earlier."

"No, Dean this is.. It's something else.." Olivia said as she finally took a deep breath and said quietly, "I'm pregnant."

For a few minutes too long, he stood there quietly, letting the weight and shock of her words hit him. He couldn't get his head around it, he didn't know how the hell he was supposed to respond, especially given all they'd put one another through, the way they started out together.

He wanted to be happy, but those demons just kept crawling back in.. Taunting him that he'd never be good enough, that he'd never make a good father, that he was too fucked up, that he wasn't capable of love.

Hell, he really wasn't sure if he even **loved** her..

"That's all I needed to know. Somehow, I figured you wouldn't be happy about this. Guessing we're done now?" Olivia muttered as she moved or tried to move around him in the room.

"I need to fuckin think." Dean grumbled as he turned and walked over to the bed, sat down, staring at the floor. When he looked up, she was putting her clothes into her own suitcase.

"Where the fuck are ya going?" Dean asked, panicked, not knowing what to do or say, or stop her from doing this, now of all times.. The words kept repeating themselves in his head over and over.

" Dean.. If you have to think then we have bigger problems than my ex husband coming after me, or this whole bizarre relationship we're in, if you even call it that.. So, I'm making it easier on you. Look, I love you.. But I'm not going to sit here and wait on you to trust me enough, to love me enough to stop fucking us up. So, when you make up your god damn mind? Find me, we'll talk.. Until then, just don't bother. I'm sick of this rollercoaster, and I can't just think about me anymore, I can't just lie here at night and worry about you and what you're going to deliberately put in our path to fuck this up. I love you.. Just like this. I don't even expect you to say it or return it .. I can't stop loving you.. but I can't live like this." Olivia said as she grabbed her bags, started towards the door..

He should have stopped her, but for some reason, he was still too shocked to even really move from the spot he stood in. As the door closed behind her, he stood there, his hand in his hair, then sank down on the bed, sitting down again.

He kept hearing what she told him, all of it, over and over.

"And as usual.. I fucked it all up." he muttered bitterly, as he uncapped a bottle of Jack Daniels and drank half of it down, before he started trashing the hotel room.

Which is what he was still doing when Roman and Seth walked in, got him under control.

"Where's Liv?" Roman asked, concerned for her, wondering what Dean had done this time to make her leave.

"She's gone, man.. She's really fuckin gone." Dean said calmly, quietly, in a shocked voice.

"What the fuck did you do?" Seth asked, a little angry, he considered Olivia a friend, he was protective of her as an older brother would be..

"She told me she's pregnant, and then she told me that she couldn't deal with me deliberately fucking things up.. that she loved me for me, but she couldn't live with the constant worrying over what I was going to do to push her away or test her next. If she really fucking loved me.. she'd fucking be here."

The two men looked from Dean to each other, then back again. Roman chuckled and then said "It's kinda funny.. Mr. Love 'em and leave 'em.. finally does the unthinkable, meets someone he really honestly loves and he can't resist fucking it up.. let me guess.. when she told you you just stood here like an idiot, right?"

"Roman you motherfucker, this is not fucking funny. She's out there, somewhere with my kid.. And you're gonna sit here and laugh and shit.. But yeah.. I did just stand there. I don't know how to take that shit, man!"

"And that.. is where you fucked up, Ambrose." Seth said calmly as he looked at him, then smacked him in the back of the head with an open hand.

Dean glared, growled and rubbed the back of his head before popping Seth with an open hand in the forehead. "The fuck was that for, Rollins?"

"That was because you're an idiot. She's fucking scared to death right now.. When you said nothing, you only made her that much more afraid."

" The fuck was I supposed to say? I don't even know if I want this, or how I feel about it."

Roman groaned and shaking his head said calmly, "Well you better fucking figure it out, Dean, because in a few months? Like it or not, the kid will be here.. You can't just tell a kid not to be born. Things don't work that way."

"Fuck you." Dean muttered as he said calmly, "I need a fucking drink." and staggered towards the door. He stopped about halfway across the room because he noticed she'd left the shirt she usually wore to sleep of his, folded neatly on the chair pulled partly away from the table.

He picked it up, held it to his nose.. Then he put it down again, waving his hand at it in disgust with himself.

He'd really, really fucked it up this time. Now, he needed to figure out whether it could be fixed, or if she were better off if he just walked away.

Olivia got her keycard at the front desk and found her new room. It was two doors down from AJ, who she'd gotten to know a bit, while doing her makeup since she'd been working with the company.

In need of someone to talk to, anyone, she set off down the hallway, and ten minutes later, it was all pouring out, as she cried without stopping. When she finished, AJ held out a tissue and then said calmly, " He's as scared as you are, Olivia."

"He's not. I honestly don't think anything scares him, ever. He's mad as hell that this happened, probably, but he's not scared."

Punk stepped into the room and clearing his throat said, "If you don't mind, April?"

AJ nodded and let him talk. She had to admit that her boyfriend was really, really good at keeping himself together, staying calm and giving decent advice when asked.

" He does. The thing about him is that he does not operate like normal people, Liv.. So normal rules don't apply. When he reacted the way he probably did, or didn't react at all.. He was probably trying to figure out what he felt, what he wanted."

Olivia listened, and then wiping her eye said quietly, " I'm scared too, but I keep going back to him.. i mean we never do anything but fight, and he just won't trust me when I tell him that I love him, no matter what, no matter how scary he gets. I can handle him, I can handle whatever happens."

"Maybe if you two aren't around each other for a while," Punk began, rubbing his chin as he tried to think of a solution that'd actually help, before continuing, " Then maybe if he has time to think, to have to sort out how it feels with you not there, then maybe it'll work itself out."

"So you're saying I did the right thing when I got away from him for tonight?"

Punk nodded and then said "You both need time to think.. this whole thing was really, really fast, and the added stress of your ex husband threatening you constantly, didn't help matters much. Want me to see if Heyman can talk to Vince about getting you some off time?"

Olivia nodded numbly. Right now, she felt like this was the worst thing she was doing. She missed his arms around her, she missed the way he made her laugh at the oddest things, she missed lying in bed next to him at night, and she missed not being afraid.. she missed him. She had this feeling that she'd never make it through being away from him, but parts of her were curious as to whether it would even register to him that she was gone..

And this is what made her tell Punk to talk to Heyman about getting some downtime. He set off to do that, and AJ hugged her and then said " Nothing worth it is ever easy, Liv.. Just think about that whenever you think about going back before he comes to you."

"But he's not going to come to me, I know what will happen.. As soon as he realizes he's free, he'll be done."

AJ shook her head and then said "You didn't see how freaked out he got at the arena when he realized you were gone and you weren't at the hotel. He came back, and let's just say that at least 8 security guards got themselves a new asshole ripped. Not to mention his tearing up the backstage area, interrupting Ryback's match and accusing Ryback of all people of hiding you.."

Olivia raised a brow, but said nothing for a few moments..

"If I don't do this now, he'll keep treating me the way he wants to." she reminded herself as she set off for her own hotel room, falling onto the bed. She dug through her suitcase, hoping she'd grabbed the t shirt of his she always slept in, because his cologne lingered on it, but it wasn't there.

It was going to be a long seperation, she could tell already, because she hadn't even been away from him for two hours and she was already wishing she hadn't done this.

And somehow, she had the feeling that tomorrow wasn't going to be any better.

Now, not only was her ex husband after her, but she didn't know what would happen with her and Dean next... her thoughts were anything but comforting, and her mind kept telling her she was doing the right thing, but her heart kept insisting that this was completely wrong.

Completely and totally wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

_**: CHAPTER 10: GO AND FIX YOUR MAKEUP, GIRL IT'S JUST A BREAKUP :**_

There was one way to describe the next day, when the sun hit his eyes. Torture. That's the only word that sprang to his mind currently. Torture, slow and steady and he hated it. It got under his skin. He hated being ignored. And knowing that if he'd done just one damn thing differently the night before, she'd still be here...

This really ate at him. So after pacing his hotel room, his hand in his shaggy hair as he swore out loud, and then yelled incoherently for a while like the crazy man he was known for being, he dressed and walked down the stairs on the outside of the hotel rooms walkway.

Walking in, he saw her in the lobby, and it was like the wind got knocked right out of him. She had all of her bags in hand, and it looked like she'd barely slept the night before. He stood there, not entirely sure what to do or say even. He wanted to walk over to her, say something, anything but...

Before he could, she'd seen him. And she started walking towards him. It almost seemed like her feet, her body had a mind of it's own.. She wanted to turn, run and get away now, so that she could get her head on straight, but she couldn't. seeing him, just knowing he was in the room now..

She'd been hoping to get out of here, and to the safe place Paul and Punk found for her, before Dean even realized she was gone, giving her a headstart on both himself, and her ex husband.. But, she'd slept too late.

Punk saw it happening, and sighed. He texted Paul and told him what was about to happen, then shoved the phone back into his pocket. Parts of him were about to point out to both of them that they'd only keep fighting, having the same issues if they didn't seperate, but somehow, he just.. he had this odd feeling about the two of them.

It wouldn't matter how hard one tried to leave.. The other wouldn't allow it.

He wasn't honestly sure as a friend of Liv's as of recently, if this were a good thing, or a bad thing.

Dean stood in front of her now, looking down at her, brow raised, hand in his hair. "Goin somewhere, Livvie?" he asked quietly, as Olivia nodded and said meekly, "I.. I got some time off.."

"See, that's funny, Livvie.. Because I don't remember tellin ya you go to leave." Dean muttered as his eyes pleaded with her silently NOT to do this to him, not to walk away. He'd thought and sort of deep down hoped he'd finally found that one girl who wouldn't..

And then he'd fucked it up..

"Dean, don't do this.. Not now.. You needed time to think.. I don't exactly have time. My time is actually running out." Olivia started, as he looked at her and held her gaze a moment. Biting his lip he finally muttered, "I don't think it's a good idea.. ya need someone with ya.. To go off like this right now.. Are ya insane? What if that motherfucker of an ex finds ya?"

"Then I'll find some way to end it once and for all, Dean. I got myself into this mess, I never should have just stepped back and let you get sucked in too.. And you.. You're not even sure how you really feel, what you really want.. So you should be relieved right now, not trying to stop me."

"Yeah, but I'm not, god damn it, Livvie. Just... You don't need to be by yaself right now.."

She sighed. The fact that he was even standing here, right now, was starting to make her realize that he wasn't good at saying things.. But he was really good at showing things..More of an actions kind of guy.

"Dean.. I.."

"Livvie, ya pregnant. Your ex husband is huntin ya down with intent to kill ya. I'm a bastard, but even I'm not gonna let ya go like this." Dean said calmly, his large hands closing around her small wrist to keep her standing there, he could sense that she was fidgeting and getting scared.

She didn't say anything, she just thought it over a moment.. if she walked away now, she'd only be tormenting herself.. and from the looks of it, Dean, which was the very opposite of what she wanted.

She didn't want him to have any doubts about what he wanted, though.

A ragged sigh escaped her lips as she handed him her bag, quietly and then said "I shouldn't do this, you're in deep enough because of me, and you don't even know what you want or how you feel about all this.. But I also know if I leave, I won't be okay, either."

He took her bag and then said quietly, "Let's just go back to the room, okay?" as he lead her out of the lobby. Neither of them really knew what was going on in the other's minds, and how they'd handle her being pregnant on top of her ex husband still out there somewhere.

For now, though, he was sort of glad he'd gotten her to stay.. But even now, the voices kept nagging at him about how he was going to fuck this up, and then she'd be gone too, just like everyone else who ever promised to love him and then got mad at him, or he shoved them away successfully.

He opened the door to the room and then pointed to the bed. "Take a nap."

Olivia raised a brow, but sat down on the bed and sank back, squeezing her eyes shut. Had she just made a mistake by letting the hurt look he gave in the lobby get to her? Was anything going to be any different this time?

Dean slid onto the bed and lie behind her, his arms going around her as he muttered next to her neck, his breath warming her skin, his tongue darting out, tracing her pulse slowly as he spoke, "I can't sleep for shit alone now. Just so ya know, I blame you."

"And you think I sleep any better without you?" she asked as she rolled over to face him, her hand resting on his cheek, her thumb rubbing along his lower lip lazily. Before she stopped herself, she blurted out, "I hope the baby has your eyes."

Dean blinked and then chuckled a little, then shrugged. For now, he was wary about even talking about her being pregnant. He still didn't know how to feel about it, and he knew if he let on he was scared, she'd leave again, or try to leave again and this time, he might not be able to stop her.

"Shhh, damn.. Ya need sleep." he muttered as he lie there, holding her, ignoring the ringing of his cell phone.

When he rolled over to check who'd called after she'd finally fallen asleep, he growled to himself and texted the number back quickly. He was settling this, this shit with her ex husband, one way or another.

There was no fucking way that she was going to be hurt. He wasn't letting anything happen to them. Even if he didn't know how to feel about any of this, he was starting to realize that whether he liked it or not, he did feel something.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 11 : THE DANGER IS OVER.. OR IS IT? :

They'd just settled in to the next hotel, in the next town, and currently, she was in the bathroom being, well.. Sick.. Completely and totally, miserably sick.

She blinked in surprise when she felt a cold rag on the back of her neck, and then moments later heard Dean talking to someone on the phone. It must have been Paul Heyman, because the next thing she knew, Dean was telling her that she wasn't doing hair and makeup tonight. That when she went to the arena with the guys, she'd be sitting in the VIP box with Paul Heyman and some of the sponsors, other shit..

"And you get to make this decision, since when?" she asked, her horomones momentarily ruling out the shock at the 'sweetness' in the otherwise bossy gesture he'd just made.

"Livvie, just fuckin do what I say. Do not piss me off right now." Dean commanded firmly as he turned his head, making a grimacing face at her being sick everywhere. He didn't even really realize what he was doing, in doing what he'd just done, until long after he'd done it.

He should be trying to find a way out of this, not sticking around to fuck up all their lives. He wasn't a good guy. He wasn't made for this one guy one girl thing, and adding a kid to an already explosive situation..

The thought of it made him shudder, because he knew exactly what he was capable of if pushed, and he also knew exactly what horrors he'd endured growing up the way he had.

Olivia glared, but finally took a deep breath and then said quietly, "Will you at least fucking be careful? I mean that motherfucker did threaten to catch you in the crowd tonight…"

"And if he does, Livvie.. I swear to Christ, he won't have anywhere to hide. I'll fucking rip him apart. You.. don't fuckin worry about me, alright?"

Olivia raised her brow, wearily. She kept telling herself that they didn't even know if they'd stay together, or anything, so there was no need in her being so damn attached, when at any moment Dean could turn around, decide he didn't want to be anywhere near her and just walk away.. But she couldn't help but worry about him, because though she dared not admit it, deep down, she loved him and nothing was going to change that.

Things had gotten downright ugly before, and she was still here with him. Either that was real love, or she was a fucking stupid girl.

Either way it went, lately, with all their complications, it was hard to honestly tell whether it was real love, or she was just really, really fucking stupid.

"Fine." She said simply, not pushing it any farther. She didn't want to piss him off, get into a fight, then have her headache get worse, put any more stress on herself than she already had on herself currently.

But she also had a plan if her ex husband showed up. Dean wouldn't like it, but if she did this, then maybe her ex would leave her the fuck alone finally.

The only problem with her plan was that it involved either committing murder, or running so neither man could find her, just until she figured out a way to get two steps ahead of her ex husband and find a way to stop him that was a little less illegal.

Dean took a deep breath as he looked at her and asked gruffly, "Ya about done yet? I swear to Christ, if ya keep getting sick like this.." his voice trailing off, torn between annoyance at the mood swings, the crying fits and the sickness, and worrying..

Which further perplexed the male, because he'd been trying to get his head around this for about a week now, to no avail. He still didn't know how he felt about her being pregnant, or him being a father.

Raking his hand through his hair, he grabbed their keycard and opened the door, walking out behind her.

As they made their way down the stairs, his cell phone rang, and he growled, stopping to answer.

And what happened next happened so fast that if he hadn't already suspected the fucker was going to try something like this, he'd have been knocked flat on his ass. But, he'd figured that the wormy bastard was going to wait until he wasn't looking for it, then try and make a grab for Livvie.

Which is why he'd stuck a lead pipe in the cargo pockets of his black pants. He smirked as the pipe made quick contact with the man's forehead. "So, tell me something, motherfucker? Am I finally meeting ya face to face, or is this another one of ya so called boys comin to send a message?"

The man snapped his head forward and smashed it into Dean's head, as Dean took a staggering step backwards, swearing as he swung at the man again with the pipe. He yelled out to Olivia, "Get in the fuckin car now."

It was getting darker outside, and Olivia didn't want to leave Dean out there not knowing her ex husband could have friends hidden in the parking lot somewhere.

She stood there and Dean growled, snapping, "God damn it, go now, Livvie." As he tossed her the keys.

She made herself move and pick up the keys. Right as she did, someone stepped out, and grabbed her by her hair.

"And just where the hell do you think you're going?" her ex husband's best friend Abe snarled as he kept a grip in her hair.

Dean growled and lunged at Olivia's ex husband, spearing him almost as good as Roman did all the time. He smirked as they made hard contact with the pavement and as soon as he got a hand free, he gripped her ex husband's hair with it, slammed his head off the pavement a few times, swearing and growling. "How's it feel you motherfucker? To actually fucking be hit?"

The man laughed and upper cutted Dean in the stomach, winding him momentarily, as he shouted to his friend Abe, "Get the bitch and haul ass, Abe. I'll get romeo here, no problems."

Olivia smirked as she stomped down on Abe's foot, then sent an elbow into his stomach, and ran as fast as her shaking legs would carry her towards her car.

She spun it around, turning on the headlights just as Dean got up and got control of the flow of the fight again. He stood her ex husband up and sent him at the hood of the car, then bounced his head off it a few times.

Fumbling around, he found the lead pipe on the ground that'd been knocked loose during the fight moments before. And he used it to ram into the man's abdomen over and over, before following it with a few elbows to the abdomen too. The man was coughing, but he kept fighting, trying to reach up, choke Dean.

Dean ducked, laughing as he said with a smirk, "And I thought ya were such a badass motherfucker…Least that's what my Livvie said.. And make no mistake about it, son of a bitch.. She is mine."

Her ex husband stood, rammed into Dean, both of them rolling around on the ground in the illumination of the dimmed headlights, in the misting rain. At one point, she thought she saw her ex husband going for a knife, and she didn't think.

She jumped out and took her tire tool from the backseat, hitting the man in the head with it, panting for breath as Dean sat up and growled, "God damn it, woman.. I told ya to stay the fuck in the car."

"He was.. he was about to stab you, I had to do something." Olivia muttered, her voice coming out quieter.

By now, people had started to realize there was a fight going on in the parking lot, and they were coming down, watching.

The sirens and blue lights lit up the night sky and the cops pulled into the parking lot, as Olivia explained the situation as calmly as she could. Watching her ex husband be hauled away in handcuffs, most likely going back to jail, unless he made bail didn't even give her a sense of freedom..

She was scared that he'd just get out, do this all over again. And what if by then, Dean and she were through?

Dean grabbed her elbow and then said calmly, "I gotta go text Heyman, tell him we're gonna be late."

Olivia didn't speak, she just nodded in quiet agreement. Sure, her ex husband was going to jail for now.. But he'd escaped once already.. What if he did it again?

He wasn't the kind of guy who left things unfinished.

And Dean wouldn't always be there.. After all, she still didn't know if Dean actually knew what he wanted in this situation, to be completely honest.

Dean watched her face as the car pulled out, taking her ex husband to wherever he'd escaped prison from and he said quietly, "It's done now, Livvie."

"It's not, Dean.. he got out once, he'll be back. I won't ever be left alone.."

"Yeah, Livvie, ya will. C'mon. Let's get to the hospital.." Dean muttered as he steered her towards the car by her elbow.

"Dean, I didn't get hurt."

"Livvie, don't fuckin argue. He got a hit in, I fuckin saw that motherfucker. That's why I beat the living fucking shit out of him with the pipe."

"Dean.. he didn't hit me. I got loose from him. But you need attention.. That gash.. It's pretty damn deep."

"Nah. Barely felt it. I've got a damn hard skull though." Dean shrugged off her worry as he raked his hand through his hair, and helped her down into the passenger seat.

His mind went back to the exact second he'd seen that other man grab Livvie like he had. The surge of anger, the slight tension and fear for a split second.

He hated this, one person affecting him this much. He wasn't used to it, he didn't know how to deal with it.

His hand found hers over the console in the car, and he gripped her hand, squeezing it. "I'm not a good guy. Never will be, either." He said calmly, quietly as he stared at the road ahead of them.

"Dean, stop it. I know all of this already."

"Just.. Don't expect some good guy, some nice guy.. Got it?"

"Have I? Since this entire thing started, Dean, name one fucking time I've tried to make you be something you're not. Look… I lived through that.. I think I'll be okay. Stop fucking doing this.. You spend so damn much time looking for a way that things will go wrong that you create it over half the time."

"Livvie.. Just shut it." He muttered as he leaned across, pulled her into a rough kiss as the light went from yellow to red.

She moaned as he nibbled her lower lip, used his tongue to roughly part her lips and his hand went to the back of her neck, pulling her into the kiss.

The light went back to green and people behind them began to honk. Dean growled, and grumbling rolled down his window, held his middle finger out of it.

The drive to the arena was mostly quiet, both of them trying to figure out what would happen next, how they really felt..

And wondering what the other one was thinking as they sat there silently.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 12 : ACCEPTANCE,SORT OF :

He lie there in the hotel bed, one arm behind his head, the other arm around her back, staring at the ceiling. It was dark, it was quiet and he could think at last. He could lie there and once and for all do some honest to God thinking about their current situation and what he intended to do one way or the other.

Olivia lie there, drifting in and out of sleep, his arm around her. Her own mind kept going over everything that happened to get her, them to this point. And she kept wondering what was going to happen now, or God forbid when Dean got bored and walked away?

She'd been working backstage long enough to know that he always got bored. He always walked away. She sighed to herself and then heard him mumbling, "You awake too, Livvie?"

"Yeah. I gave up on sleep about an hour ago. Just thinking." she said quietly as her hand slowly passed over his chest in the dark.

"About?" Dean asked, as he kept his eyes closed. He was dreading where this was going, already. He'd never really been an optimistic type guy, so he was nothing if not skittish currently, especially given they'd just finally gotten the biggest of the obstacles out of their way.

He blinked in shock as he thought that, because it stunned him. He, Dean Ambrose was thinking in the long term on something. Not just about how much instant gratification he could get.

"C'mon, Livvie." he coaxed, rolling over, trailing his finger over her neck and chest slowly as he propped on his elbow, looked down at her.

"Dean, no. I'm not even going there. Not right now. Sleep." Olivia coaxed as she tried to pull him down into the bed. The lights came on, and she grumbled, until she noticed him sitting up, at the edge of the bed now hesitantly.

She crawled into place sitting behind him as she rested her head on his shoulder cautiously, her stomach churning with nerves. Was he about to tell her he couldn't do this? That he was done, plain and simple?

Dean stared at his hands in the awful and tacky yellowing light of the room and finally said, " I.. I ain't really used to this.."

"What?"

"This.. Us.. Actually missin somebody when they're gone. I haven't in a long time.." he started, then stopped, unsure of what he was about to say. He wasn't good at letting his guard down, and lately, he'd been so damn confused, and torn so many ways... He just wasn't handling it well.

" Everybody leaves. Or they're taken." he finally said quietly as he kept staring at his hands. Olivia bit her lip, trying to figure out where he was going with this, not quite understanding what he meant. She finally got it, or at least she thought she got it, and she slid off the bed, and sat on the edge of his lap, her fingers tilting his chin up.

"Dean, are you trying to say that you don't want me to leave? Or that you're afraid I will at some point?"

"Somethin like that, yes. I mean earlier.. That guy almost grabbed ya... "

"You suck at emotional conversations, Dean." Olivia said with a slight smirk as she leaned in and said quietly, "If it makes you feel better. I'm scared too."

They sat there quietly looking at one another, not sure what else to say. Finally, Olivia leaned in and kissed him, nibbling his lower lip as she joked, " Hey.. Even if I wanted to leave you, Dean.. I'd never be able to walk away from your crazy ass. But I don't, so relax."

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?" Olivia answered his question with a question as she studied his face. He was still so freaked out looking, he had the full on deer in headlights look at the moment, so she wasn't sure what was going on exactly..

"Why don't you leave?"

" Honestly? I don't know. I get you. You get me. And even when we're pissing one another off beyond all hope, I still can't just make myself stop.."

"Stop what?" Dean pondered as he held her gaze.

"Feeling anything for you. It's scary. You're under my fucking skin, there's nothing I can do about it. So as scared as you are? I'm twice as scared, because I've been wrong so many times before.."

Dean nodded quietly, then clearing his throat said quietly, " This whole thing.. It's freaking me the fuck out. Don't really know what the fuck to do or say."

"Then don't worry." Olivia said as she stifled a yawn and then asked, "Can we sleep now? Or was there something else?"

"Yeah, we can sleep." Dean said quietly as they got back into bed and turned off the lights. He lie there in the dark mostly still trying to sort out what she said, how he felt and most importantly, what he was going to do about how he felt.

Because earlier tonight, when that guy almost grabbed her, it'd sort of scared him and shocked him in the same time that he'd gotten the way he did about it. He wasn't entirely sure how he'd cope with being a father, or this thing they had going, but he was promising himself he was going to try not to screw it up.

Somehow, he had the sneaking suspicion that that was going to be harder than he thought it'd be.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 13 : A LEOPARD WON'T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS.. OR WILL THEY? :

The girl made her way over to the Shield right after their match. Dean's eyes were scanning the hallway, anxious, because Livvie went to see the medic a few minutes ago, and she hadn't come back out yet. He was letting his mind run away with him as to what could be wrong with her right now, and to his surprise, it was eating him alive, the waiting, the not knowing.

The girl zoned in on him first. He looked at her, dismissively, dis interested. Of course, he didn't realize he looked at her this way, but Seth and Roman quickly caught on, exchanged mystified looks with one another.

"What do ya want? I'm kinda waitin on someone." Dean said calmly but coldly as the girl giggled a little, held out a pen and an autograph book, then suggested, "I'm up for anything tonight."

"Yeah? Well I ain't." Dean said as he signed the book, thrust it back at her, went back to looking for Livvie to emerge from the medic.

"Dude, why didn't you just go in there?"

"Because, she might not want me in there, god damn." Dean said calmly, as Seth and Roman looked at one another then said "You do realize what you just did, right?"

"What?"

"You turned down sex, man. You never fuckin turn down sex.. Or you didn't."

"And? I'm not worried about that damn girl. She was fuckin jailbait, Rollins."

"Dean.. She was our age."

"And?"

"And... you keep sayin that you're not serious about Liv.. We think you're lying to yourself."

"I'm not, god damn it. I can walk away any time I fuckin wanna."

Seth snickered, Roman chuckled to himself then said calmly, "Then why haven't you? Because it's been almost four months, Dean.. Normally by now, you're so damn restless that you're praying for the girl to just walk away, or you'll scare her badly enough she never wants to see you again."

Livvie walked out of the medic and Dean rolled his eyes at the other two men before walking over.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Apparently, being this sick is perfectly normal. And fainting like I did earlier is too. Especially when you're under a lot of stress."

"The fuck? Ya fainted and ya just now telling me this?" Dean raged as Olivia held a finger to his lips, stopping him in mid sentence. "As I just said, Dean.. It's normal. I'm under stress, and I haven't been able to sleep because I've been sick most every night."

"That's it.. I'm gonna talk to Heyman, something, and ya not doing so damn much."

"Dean, I swear to God, you are the most stubborn and hard headed man I have ever even met. And anyway, aren't you the one who keeps insisting that you don't know what you want to even do about this? If you're going to freak out and run, why get so involved?"

Dean stopped, thought it over a moment. Everything, even what the guys said just now, when he turned down the offer of sex with a strange girl.

Normally, he loved that. He loved a good one night stand. Of course, that's probably what got him into this present situation, but..

"Because I keep tellin ya.. I'm not. I just don't know how I feel about being a dad. I just need to figure things out." he finally answered as he looked at her, biting his lip, moving in closer to her, his hands wandering slowly down her hourglass curves, resting on her hips.

"So you're not leaving, but you don't know if you want to be a father. That's a little weird, don't you think?"

Dean groaned and pressed his forehead to her forehead and said calmly, "Never said I wasn't a weird guy, babe."

"Jesus, Dean, you are confusing."

"And you love it."

"Actually, I find it irritating."

"Right, babe. That's why you're knocked up right now."

"Didn't say I didn't enjoy sex with you. Pretty sure I just said you irritate me most of the time with the way you rationalize things."

"Do you have to use the big words? I don't want the kid sounding like that smarmy motherfucker Sandow." Dean blurted out, shocking himself when he realized he'd said it.

Olivia stifled a laugh and then said "Let's just go back to the hotel, okay? And whatever I say, do not let me have the damn buffalo wings and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?"

Dean chuckled and then said calmly, "Did I or did I not tell ya that shit will make ya sick?"

"Well played, Dean, well played. You got me there."

He shrugged and then said quietly, "Some chick came up to me, offered me... you know.." as he studied her face, waiting to see what she'd say.

Her shocked reaction to his still being there when she came out, not gone chasing ass was actually somewhat rewarding to him, though he didn't let on to this fact.

"Wow."

"Shocked?"

"A little, yes."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 14 :FREEDOM ISN'T ACTUALLY FREEDOM 1:

The words of his friends ate at him, and Dean was sort of feeling like a caged animal at the moment. He growled, scowling at his reflection in the mirror.

"I can leave."

He brushed his teeth and then made up his mind. Just a few days away, just to prove to himself that he could be done with her any time he damn well pleased. That she didn't have some magical hold over him, that he was still incapable of love and a selfish undeserving bastard.

A few days of freedom.

He walked into the bedroom area of the hotel, and caught sight of her lying there, the way the moon shined through the window and onto her skin, the way her hair stood out against the white in the linens on the bed. He shoved some clothes into a bag, and then looked at the door.

But his feet wouldn't move. She rolled over onto her back, smiling in her sleep, her pink tongue jutting out, licking slowly over her lips. He growled as he felt the usual physical response to this, and felt himself gravitating towards the bed and not the door.

"I can do this, god damn it. I can walk away any damn time I want."

Olivia cuddled against the pillow on Dean's side of the bed. She knew lately he'd been having trouble sleeping, and she figured that sooner or later, the other shoe would drop, and he'd just walk away, realizing that he didn't love her, that he couldn't make this work after all.

Dean stared at the bed, then at the door, his hand on the knob and then hesitated a moment. She rolled over and he licked his lips, her body nestling against his pillow, completely unaware of the struggle he was having currently, sleeping peacefully, for the first time in a long time, he noticed.

The mental battle began and one side of the man's mind said clearly, _'She's better off without ya, Jon ya fuckin bum. Walk away now before ya break her.' _while the other side said the complete opposite as it insisted, _'If you do this, you might not ever get her back, Jon, ya damn idiot.' _

He stepped out of the door and walked down to his rental car, getting in. They'd been planning on just staying in the hotel in the next town the show was in for the week, sort of just in their own little world. He started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot, started driving.

In the hotel room, Olivia woke up and saw the closet empty, his gear bag and his suitcase gone. She felt her stomach churning and she felt sick. She got up, went to the dresser and burst into tears she couldn't stop when she realized he'd even taken the red t shirt she liked to sleep in of his.

"Damn you." she muttered as she looked for some sign that he'd even once given her a second thought when he made her this decision to leave her here in a town that she didn't know her way around, to fend for herself. Then she kicked herself for not being stronger, not expecting this from him. Clearly, he didn't want to love anyone, he didn't want to be free from whatever the hell it was within himself that constantly made him self destruct and cut everyone who loved him out.

With shaking hands, she texted Roman and then Seth, asking if they'd seen him today. Neither of them answered and she bit her lip. Now apparently had he completely turned his back on her, what she thought they had, but her friends were turning too.

She'd just lain down on the double bed, given into the second or third bout of crying for the day, when her cell phone rang, and it was Roman asking if Dean had come back yet. According to Roman, Dean wasn't answering his cell. Roman asked if they'd had a fight.

"No, everything was fine when we went to bed last night and I woke up today, he was gone, his stuff was gone.." Olivia said in a flat voice as the hotel door was knocked on. She opened it to find Seth standing there.

"He's not answering his phone, Liv. I hate when he does this shit." Seth said as Liv shrugged and then said quietly, "I'll be fine.. He's better off anyway. And at least now I have my answer finally, right?"

"Maybe not, Liv.. Maybe he'll come back." Seth insisted even though he got the feeling that Dean might not come back. This angered him a little, but he kept quiet, he didn't want to put Liv through any more hell than she'd already been through. "Did you call AJ? It's not a good idea to stay here by yourself." Seth asked in concern as Liv sighed and said "Yeah.. She's coming in an hour or two with Punk. They're letting me ride the couch at Punk's in Chicago until I figure things out.. Seth? There's a good chance I might not come back to work after downtime.. It's just.. it's better this way.. If I stay, I'll keep trying and I can't.. "

"I know, Liv. And I completely understand.. You keep in touch though, okay? That's my godkid in there, right?"

"Yeah." Liv laughed through her tears as she finished packing her stuff. Punk stepped into the room, as did AJ, and both pulled her into a hug. Liv wound up crying again for about the 10th time that day and wiping her eyes, she looked at Punk and said calmly, "I owe you so much.. The main thing being an apology. Because you were right.. I should have walked away when you said he'd never change and that this just might not last."

AJ sighed and shaking her head said gently, "You were just being hopeful, Liv.. Let's just go, okay?"

"Yeah. Let's go.. I'm gonna tell you both what I told Seth earlier when he came by.. I might not come back to work with the show when downtime is over.. it's for the best.."

"Don't let this make you quit." AJ said as she looked at her only real friend backstage in desperation. Liv sighed and said with a weak smile, "Not as tough as I thought I was, AJ. If he doesn't want to be saved, I can't save him now can I?"

"No, but trust me, if you come back, it'll make.." AJ started as Punk shook his head and kissed her forehead whispering, "Babe, if she feels better leaving, let her.. I'm sure she'll come and hang out with us at the hotel and stuff, won't you, Liv?"

"Of course. You guys are my best friends." Liv promised as they got into Punk's car, going back to Chicago.. She slept for most of the 5 hour drive, and when she wasn't sleeping, she was wondering why he'd walked away now as opposed to earlier in before she was stupid enough to get attached to him. And when she wasn't wondering that, she was wondering where he was, if he were okay.

The next few days went by in a long drawn out blur.. In reality, they flew by, but to Liv, they seemed to drag on forever.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 14 :FREEDOM ISN'T ACTUALLY FREEDOM 2:

He made it as far as Ohio, back to his place before it really kicked in that he'd done it. And the second he realized he'd done it, he'd walked away, he realized just how big of a mistake he might have just made. He turned back on his cell phone, saw a few calls from Roman and Seth, neither of them were too happy with him currently, and he read one text that was from Liv.

She basically told him that she loved him and that she wished he hadn't left, but she wasn't going to keep making him try to stay where he didn't want to be. And when he called her, the phone was off.

In fact, for the next 4 days, every single time he tried to call her, her phone was off. And Seth nor Roman were giving up any clue as to where she was. By that Friday, he was going crazy, quite literally and he even logged into the Twitter account he had that he never used. He knew she had one, that AJ Lee, one of her really good friends had one, and she hadn't even posted anything in over a week herself.

He was starting to get really, really angry with himself, with what he'd done. Then the anger turned to acceptance by Saturday when he called a record 75 times and she didn't pick up a single one. By midnight, he'd started drinking, and by 2 am, he sat in the apartment of his friend Sami Callahan, drinking, watching his phone as if any second it'd ring.

Sami studied his friend and then said "What's the fuckin problem?"

"Nothin." Dean said as Sami coughed and covered the word 'bullshit' before asking again and adding, "Ya gonna make me beat it outta ya, Jon?"

"You even think it, Sam, I'll kill ya, damn it." Dean said as he took a long pull from the tall bottle of vodka sitting in his lap, every once and a while staring at the last thing Liv had posted on Twitter, a picture of the two of them after he'd won his US Champions belt.

Sami took the phone and threw it then said calmly, "Why the fuck did ya leave, Jon, if ya just gonna sit here and be miserable. Makes no sense."

"Yeah, well look who ya talkin to." Dean pointed out as he leaned back on the couch and stretched, popping his knuckles. After a few long silent moments, a very awkward pause, he muttered, "I'm gonna go back to my place. I need to be alone."

"Yeah, ya do. That was a dick move, Jon. Huge dick move. She was willing to put up with ya, man. She gave ya back exactly what ya gave her.. She's gonna have ya kid.. And here ya are, sitting on my fuckin couch. Man, sometimes you really piss me the fuck off."

"I piss myself off too." Dean said as he stood, walked back down to his own apartment and fell onto the bed, shutting his eyes.. He could hear her voice taunting him, he could smell her perfume on everything in his suitcase, and he just got this really, really bad feeling that this time, he might have gone too far, walked away from the one woman who'd stay no matter what he did to her.

The one woman who didn't try and change him, make him fit what she wanted, the one woman who embraced the way he could be a good guy one minute, a completely coldhearted bastard the next.

At some point during the night, he decided he was going to go back to her the next day. He'd do whatever he had to, within reason of course, but he had to go back.. Freedom wasn't as great as he thought it'd be. And he'd figured that out the hard way.


	17. Chapter 17

**(Thanks for continuing to read this, even though the updates have been few and far between. For all of you wondering how she thought to come to the WWE to work in the first place (Liv, I mean) the answer is below, and it just might shock you. Sorry, I had to add a little angst in here, make it seem a lot more realistic. Like it hasn't been angsty enough already, right? Angst is ALMOST over.. But this will probably be a series, not just this story, because sadly, this one is almost done. Again, I love every single one of you who've reviewed, added me to your favorites or just followed the story, you've all made it so much fun to write this story, and you've been huge rays of sunshine to me, really. I never thought I was a good writer, I still don't, but hey.. Glad you guys are still reading.)**

CHAPTER 15 : TRUTHS ARE TOLD :

He blinked as AJ's words to him hit him like a punch in the face. "She's where?"

"She's gone, Dean, and she quit working as the makeup girl. She said it'd be easier, that it wouldn't hurt as much. Guess she sort of figured it was over when you pulled your dick move and left her like you did, while she was asleep?"

"Did she not get any of my damn calls?" Dean growled as Punk stepped between them and said " She did. She just didn't return them, obviously. So, Ambrose.. How many other girls did you fuck while you were out 'getting your space' and she was crying herself to sleep at night?'

"What the fuck is it to ya?" Dean asked, getting in Punk's face, his fists clenching and unclenching. If the two of them didn't know where Olivia was, he'd deck Punk right now, wipe the locker room floor with his face. But, they knew where Liv was, and that was all he wanted. To get to her, tell her he'd fucked up.

"It matters to me, Ambrose, because I grew up with Olivia in Chicago. It matters to me, Ambrose, because I've been like a brother to that girl since the first time her mother dropped her off for 3 days and didn't come back for her, and when she finally did, she was high and reeked of alcohol. It matters to me, Ambrose, because I've watched her go through literal hell with guys like you who come in, claim you give a damn when you really don't. So yeah, Ambrose, I think it makes it very much my business."

Dean gaped at her and then everything made sense.. How she'd gotten the job in the first place, how Punk was always sticking up for her, how she sometimes called him her 'brother from another mother' and he looked at CM Punk as he said calmly, and in a cold voice, "I fuckin knew I didn't like ya sniffin around her."

Punk chuckled and then said "Too bad." as he looked at Dean and then continued, "Oh and by the way.. I know what you're thinking, you're actually pretty damn stupid."

"Ya think so, huh? What would AJ think about ya wantin a piece of her best friend, of my girl, Punk?" Dean asked with a sneer as he coughed and AJ asked, "Is that true, Punk?"

CM Punk rolled his eyes then muttered, "It used to be, AJ. Not anymore. We grew up, that's behind us both." before looking at her. AJ blinked as if she were stunned then her hand met with his face as the tears sprang to her eyes and she screamed at Punk, "I trusted you."

Dean burst into laughter and then said "Oops." before turning on his heel, walking out with a smug grin on his face. If he wasn't going to be with Liv, neither was CM Fucking Punk.

Punk stood there, processing what'd just happened, and then it hit him.. He might have started out this relationship with AJ Lee under completely selfish false pretenses, but somewhere along the line, he got to know the girl under the craziness and childish ways and he'd fallen head over heels for her.

He picked up his cell phone, dialed Paul and snarled, "That thing we had going with creative about me and AJ? It's off. Tell 'em I'm not gonna do it. I'm not hurting her like that. I might have already done more damage than I ever even thought possible."

Once AJ was in the hallway, she sat on the floor, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands as she texted Olivia and asked her if she had any feelings for CM Punk. Then she asked her why she'd never thought to tell her that she even knew CM Punk. She was hurting, she was alone, she was afraid that the two people she trusted most had lied to her. Had something been going on behind her back with them the whole time?

Olivia sat up on the couch in her small Chicago walk up apartment and read the text that AJ sent. She bit her lip as she thought about what AJ asked and then replied "I never told you about me knowing him because he's a good guy, and I saw how happy you two were. Even if he doesn't admit it, AJ, he really loves you, you should never doubt that. I wanted him to finally be happy, because we have both had really, really rough lives. And most importantly, I did it because you're my friend and I didn't wanna make you think I was in it to take him from you. If you are asking if I love him, yes.. But I only love him like a brother."

AJ read the text and took a deep breath and a few moments to think things over when Punk's voice startled her unexpectdly from the doorway as he asked, "So.. Did you find out what you wanted?" quietly.

"Yeah.. I asked Liv, she told me everything. Including how you told her it might not be a good idea to say you two knew each other from childhood, when she came here and applied for a job with hair and makeup."

AJ walked towards him slowly, and allowed herself to hug him as she looked up and said quietly, "I'm sorry I..It's just.."

"I get it, AJ." Punk said quietly as his arms went around her and he asked, "So.. Do you think we should make him sweat it out a while longer, see just what he'll do now that he knows where to look?"

"Definitely. He deserves it. I think he had to do this, Punk.. He had to see if he could be without her and I think the answer surprised and scared him."

Punk nodded quietly. Maybe now that things were out (most of them, at least, because he'd just successfully gotten out of the angle that had been proposed to him by creative that might have made AJ hate him forever and he was damned if he was going to tell her just what he'd about to be stupid enough to do to them after almost losing her) things would start to straighten up again for everyone.

Down the hallway, Dean swore and violently dismantled everything in his path before finding Seth and Roman and telling them both, "Can you two handle shit tonight? I have something I have to do." in a distracted voice as he muttered to himself. His stablemates raised their eyebrows but Roman said calmly, "It better be good, Ambrose. Go take care of it, then get your ass back here, got it?"

"Going now, Reigns." Dean muttered as he left the arena, his gear bag over his shoulder, his mind still spinning in anger, fear and confusion.. Was this all just a game to her? If she thought it was, she was about to feel every bit of the hell he'd put her through, because he was being put through it right now, Punk's words getting under his skin rather effectively.

Little did he know that Punk, of course, had done what he had, confessed to knowing Liv, to accomplish just that very thing, maybe make Ambrose realize just how wrong he was to have done what he did. If he thought Punk was a threat, then he'd step up, stop being such an asshole and hurting Punk's longtime best friend.

Clearly, if one were to look at Dean's demeanor as he exited the arena, it's worked and he was so conflicted that right now, he didn't know just what the hell was real, what was just implied.

But was that a good thing for Liv, or a bad thing?


	18. Chapter 18

**(Thanks for continuing to read this, even though the updates have been few and far between. For all of you wondering how she thought to come to the WWE to work in the first place (Liv, I mean) the answer is below, and it just might shock you. Sorry, I had to add a little angst in here, make it seem a lot more realistic. Like it hasn't been angsty enough already, right? Angst is ALMOST over.. But this will probably be a series, not just this story, because sadly, this one is almost done. Again, I love every single one of you who've reviewed, added me to your favorites or just followed the story, you've all made it so much fun to write this story, and you've been huge rays of sunshine to me, really. I never thought I was a good writer, I still don't, but hey.. Glad you guys are still reading.)**

CHAPTER 15 : MISS YOU LOVE :

Liv bit her lip as she scanned the classifieds from where she lie on the couch in her apartment. She might as well face it. He'd made his choice when he left her and went wherever he'd went. It was better off all around if they just stayed apart, because apparently, he was never not going to be on the fence about their situation.

And her ex could show up at any moment and do what he'd been promising. She was living on borrowed time, really, so why try being happy and normal?

Especially when Dean apparently didn't want to.

The knock on her door had her raising a brow, but she stood, walked to the door, called out "Who's there?"

"Let me in. Now." Dean said calmly as he paced in front of the door, arms crossed, angry with himself, and what he suspected now about Liv and Punk. He needed to see this through, he needed to end it. Before he made a mess of 3 lives.

"Go away, Dean. There's really no need to show up here and formally end things, don't ya think?" Liv said as she rested her head against the door, fighting tears, biting her lip. She wanted to open the door, but she didn't want to, because if she let him back in, yet again, he'd just hurt her again.

She'd rather love him and be alone than love him and be with him, wake up one day, find him gone. Besides, if he kept coming back, one day her ex would come back and he would somehow manage to hurt him, and Liv knew she wouldn't be able to live with herself if that happened.

"God damn it, Liv, open this fuckin door now or I promise you I'll fuckin kick it in." Dean said loudly as he beat on the door, rested his forehead against the frame before muttering, "I was fuckin stupid. But then I found out something, Liv."

Liv rolled her eyes. Somehow, she got a bad feeling about where this conversation was headed, what he automatically assumed and what was probably now going to happen as a result.

"Open the door, Liv."

"No, Dean, you walked away. You don't get to keep doing this, damn it. It hurts. Watching you keep self destructing, wondering when and what you'll do to push me away again. It fucking hurts. If you wanna do it? Do it on your own, damn it."

Liv walked away from the door, because she thought she heard him walking away down the hallway. She should have known he wasn't going to just give in and go away. Seconds later, the door swung awkwardly from one hinge, the other two were broken now, and he stood in the doorway, his face a red mask of rage as he looked at her.

"The fuck? Are you serious right now? My landlord's going to have a fucking stroke." Liv grumbled as she looked at him, wincing at the cut on his arm and his cheek, he'd gotten them when he assaulted the door, just now.

"That's the least of ya fuckin problems if ya did what I think ya did behind my back, with CM Fuckin Punk of all people." Dean snarled as he started towards her, not thinking clearly, not stopping. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her into a corner, holding her there. For a few moments he didn't say or do anything, just looked at her angrily, with his eyes actually taking on a hurt look to them.

"Whoa.. Hold on.. Before you go jumping to conclusions, Dean." Liv said as she looked up at him and sighed, hurt as she snapped and said "If you think that low of me then get the fuck out now. Go on, get out!" as she pointed at the door, shoving him.

He grabbed her and held on to her wrists as he asked, "Well? Aren't ya gonna answer me?"

"You got your answer, Dean, see, you decided it before you even came here. Nothing I could say right now would change your fucked up mind." Liv said quietly as he raised his hand.

"Go ahead, Dean, slap me. But trust me, when you do, you won't like the taste of your own teeth. I've been down that road before, not like it'll actually hurt me, right? I'm nothing to you, right?"

"Don't say that." Dean muttered as he looked at her, then at the door, then back again.

He turned, let her go, was going to go into the hallway to cool off, but she said from behind him, "Your answer, Dean, if it even fucking matters is no. I have never been with Punk. I was not screwing around on you with him behind your back. I had to pretend I didn't know him or McMahon wouldn't have ever given me the job, and if I hadn't taken the job, if Punk hadn't recommended me, I'd never have been able to get away from my ex husband, go on the run like I did. And Punk was threatening to stop wrestling until my ex wasn't an issue. I know how much what he does means to him, how much the people he's met while wrestling mean to him, his fans. I was not going to let him be an idiot and throw it all away.. But of course, you never thought about that, not once, did ya?"

She sighed and walked into her room, slamming the door behind her, falling back onto the soft bed, switching on her fan that sat on the nightstand beside the bed. "Welp, there goes that, I suppose." Liv muttered, feeling drained, shutting her eyes, trying to stop the tears that stung at them.

Dean stood there, his hand in his hair as he tried to get his head around what she'd just told him, as opposed to what he thought before he'd come here.

His mind kept telling him not to believe her, but then he had other parts of him telling him if he left it like this and didn't believe her, he'd never see her again, it'd all be over.

And he didn't come all the way to Chicago three days before he was supposed to arrive just to lose everything he used to think didn't matter to him.

"Damn it, woman." he grumbled as he kicked at the door and turned, walking down the hallway to the room she'd went into, opening the door. "Liv?"

"Thought you left." Liv said without opening her eyes, sitting up in the bed, as she opened her eyes, let them adjust to the darkness she had in the room thanks to the blackout curtains on the windows.

"Why the fuck is it so dark in here?"

"What are you still doing here. You wanted an answer, I gave you one." Liv insisted as Dean sat down next to her, fumbling around to find her body in the dark, pulling her against him when he did.

"Yeah." Dean muttered as he looked at her, not sure what to say right now.

She'd started to say something, but he cut her off by saying, "When I left ya.. I just.."

Her finger pressed to his lips as she said "Just don't, okay? I don't want to know why you left. All I want to know is are you back for good now, or is this just because you're fucking bored."

"I didn't leave because I was tired of ya, damn it. Let me finish, woman." Dean growled as he nipped at her neck, sighing when she shrank away from him before his lips ever made contact with her.

"Fine. You got 3 minutes."

"I left to see if I could be without ya."

"And?"

"Apparently I can't, okay? Let's not fuckin talk about it." Dean grumbled as he looked at her and then said "Fuck sitting in the dark." before fumbling around, finding a lamp next to the bed on the nightstand, turning it on.

And when he did, he wished he hadn't, because he happened to see her wiping at her eyes and felt even worse than he had before all this happened. Crying never bothered him before, and he tried not to let a woman crying bother him now, but this was different, especially given the hell he'd put them both through when he just left.

"So.. are you about done walking away, Ambrose, or..." Liv asked as she looked at him, then down at her hands. She winced as she felt the baby kick and grabbed for his hand. Dean smirked a little as he felt a solid kick from inside of her stomach and laughed a little.

"Look.. I'm not ever gonna be some perfect guy."

"And I've told you thousands of times before, Dean, if I wanted a perfect man, I'd fuckin buy a vibrator and a collectors edition Ken doll. I don't want perfect. I want you and your entire screwed up glory. I'm not weak, I can handle it. But I can't handle watching you self destruct, I can't handle the way you say one thing and do the complete opposite. So, if you're not gonna stick around, tell me now." Liv said quietly as she bit her lip, looked at him then asked, "How'd you get here tonight? You're supposed to be in a match."

"I left, so sue me." Dean muttered as he looked at her and said calmly, "Ya know how I get when I get pissed. And thinkin that about you and Punk really pissed me off."

"No, what you mean is it hurt you."

"Same damn thing, babe."

"Not really, Dean." Liv grumbled as she cautiously leaned against him and then asked, "You tired?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Hell yes. My body pillow abandoned me." Liv grumbled as Dean stifled a laugh and then said quietly, "Okay, alright, damn. We'll sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Yeah? I'll believe it when it happens." Liv said as she yawned and scooted down into the bed, burrowing under the thin blanket.

Dean scooted down behind her and put his arm over her. Lucky for him this time things had worked out. But deep down, he wondered how long he really could go without fucking this up with them. His hand rested on her abdomen and his thumb traced lazy circles over her soft skin, him laughing when he heard her mutter sleepily, "Sleep, Dean."

"Alright, fine, damn."


End file.
